ed
the entire lack of motion in the car.

"It isn't," said the Hatter. "It's built on a solid foundation and
doesn't move an inch, and yet at the same time it runs all around the
city. It was my idea," he added proudly.

"But you said it was fast," protested Alice.

"And so it is, my child," said the Hatter kindly. "It's as fast as
though it was glued down with mucilage. There's several ways of being
fast, you know. Did you ever hear of the Ballade of the _Nancy
P. D. Q._?"

"No," said Alice.

"It's a Sea Song in B flat," said the Hatter. "I will sing it for you."

And placing his hat before his lips to give a greater mellowness to his
voice, the Hatter sang:

THE BALLADE OF THE _NANCY P. D. Q._

O the good ship _Nancy P. D. Q._
From up in Boston, Mass.,
Went sailing o'er the bounding blue
Cargoed with apple sass.

She sailed around Ogunkit Bay
Down past the Banks of Quogue,
And on a brilliant summer's day,
Just off the coast of Mandelay,
She landed in a fog.

So brace the topsails close, my lads,
And stow your grog, my crew,
For the waves are steep and the fog is deep
Round the _Nancy P. D. Q._

As in the fog she groped around--
The night was black as soot--
She ran against Long Island Sound,
Out where the codfish toot.
And when the moon rose o'er the scene
So smiling, sweet and bland,
She poked her nose so sharp and keen--
'Twas freshly painted olive green--
Deep in a bar of sand.

So splice the garboard strakes, my lads,
And reef the starboard screw--
For it sticks like tar, that sandy bar,
To the _Nancy P. D. Q._

O the Skipper swore with a "Yeave-ho-ho!"
And the crew replied "Hi-hi!"
And then, with a cheerful "Heave-ho-yo,"
They pumped the bowsprit dry.
"Three cheers!" the Mate cried with a sneeze
"Hurrah for this old boat!
She sails two knots before the breeze,
But on the bar, by Jingo, she's
The fastest thing afloat!"

So up with the gallant flag, my lads,
With a hip-hip-hip-hooroo,
For the liner fast is now outclassed
By the _Nancy P. D. Q._

Alice scratched her chin in perplexity, but the Hatter never stopped.

"I got an idea from that ballad," he rattled on. "If you want trains
fast you've got to build 'em fast."

"Yes, but if they don't go--how does anybody get anywhere?" asked Alice.

"They can get off and walk," said the Hatter. "And it's a great deal
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