ack tell her I was called to the 'phone.
(_Goes to door R._) I'll never give Kitty Williams another present as
long as I live. (_Exits R._)

_Enter_ WARREN WILLIAMS _from L._

WARREN. Hello, Eddie. Are you acting as Santa Claus?

EDDIE (_who has put the hat on floor at rear_). Yas, sah; yas, sah.
I's old Santa Claus to most everybody 'cept maself. Looks like old
Christmas done passed me by.

WARREN (_sees package on table_). Hello, here's a present for me.

EDDIE. Yas, sah. I brung it up.

WARREN (_opens it_). Cigars! From my wife. (_Looks at box dubiously._)
She must have got them at a bargain sale. (_Reads cover._) Santas
Odoriferous. (_Passes box to Eddie._) Have a cigar, Eddie.

EDDIE. Yas, sah. Thank you, boss.

WARREN (_lighting one_). Now, that certainly is a sensible present. So
many women don't know how to select a cigar, but Kitty--

EDDIE (_smoking_). Yas, sah. Your wife certainly am a lady ob
discernibility. She shore am.

WARREN. So many women give their husbands such foolish presents.

EDDIE. De lady in Apartment B done give her husband a pearl La
Valliere for Christmas.

WARREN (_takes cigar from mouth, looks at it a moment, replaces it and
smokes furiously_). You like a good cigar, don't you, Eddie?

EDDIE (_removes his cigar, looks at it, replaces it_). Yas, sah. I
likes a _good_ cigar.

WARREN. I tell you these are something like cigars, aren't they?

EDDIE. Yas, sah. Dey's sumpin like 'em, boss, but not quite.

WARREN (_chokes and then throws cigar in cuspidor_). I don't believe I
care to smoke just now.

EDDIE (_does the same_). Neither does I, boss; neither does I.

WARREN. You wouldn't like a nice box of cigars for a Christmas
present, would you, Eddie?

EDDIE (_slowly_). No, sah, I don' 'spects I would. Ma lady-love don't
like to hab me smoke no cigars, kase she says it contaminates ma
presence. Well, I's got to go and deliber de res' ob my Christmas
packages. Merry Christmas, boss. (_Exit R., carrying the hat in the
box._)

_Enter_ KITTY _from L._

KITTY. Warren, I've laid out the costumes in your room. They're too
lovely for anything.

WARREN. Well, did you get it?

KITTY. Get it?

WARREN. Your Christmas present.

KITTY. Oh, yes, I got it. (_Looks around._) Why, where is Lolly?

WARREN. She probably got tired of waiting and went back to her
apartment. How did you like the hat?

KITTY. It was a dream. You're such a good boy and you have the most
wonderful tast