home from de
millinery store. Mis' Lacey gib it to me for a Christmas present, and
I ain't got no use for it.

GOOGIN. Begorry, that's a good idea. I'll make peace with me wife.
Eddie, I'll trade ye a nice box of cigars for the hat.

EDDIE. Is 'em some ob Mistah Williamses cigars?

GOOGIN. They are. Santas Odoriferous.

EDDIE. Man, man, I wouldn't deprive you ob dem cigars for de world.

GOOGIN. Sure it's no depravity at all, at all.

EDDIE. I'll sell you de hat for two dollars cash money.

GOOGIN. Two dollars, is it?

EDDIE. Yas, sah, and it's worth 'bout ten dollars. De lady done say
it's worth _more'n_ ten dollars.

GOOGIN. I'll take it. (_Takes out old wallet, counts out two dollars
in small change and gives it to_ EDDIE.)

EDDIE. Yas, sah. Dat's right.

GOOGIN. There's yer two dollars.

EDDIE. And dere's yer hat. (_Gives him box._) Excuse me, boss. I hears
de elevator bell. (_Exits R._)

GOOGIN (_opens box and looks at the hat_). Begorry, I've been robbed.
Eddie! Ye thavin' nagur, come here. Niver in all the world would me
wife wear an orange hat. She hates orange worse ner pizen.

_Enter_ KITTY _from R._ GOOGIN _has hat in the box._

KITTY. It's all right, Mr. Googin. I had a long talk with your wife
and she's all ready for you.

GOOGIN. Ready for me? With a flatiron belike.

KITTY. No, no. Her face is wreathed in smiles. She's waiting for you
with a real Kilkenny welcome.

GOOGIN (_smiles_). Is she now? Sure, Mrs. Williams, mum, it's a grand
lady ye are. Excuse me, mum, but this bein' Christmas day, I was
wonderin' whether you'd be after accepting a wee bit of a Christmas
present from the likes of me?

KITTY. Why, Mr. Googin, how very kind and thoughtful.

GOOGIN (_hands her the box_). It's here, mum. A fine hat it is. Right
out of the millinery store.

KITTY. Oh, thank you so much. I'm just crazy to see it. (_Takes it
out._) What! (_Stares at it._)

GOOGIN. Ain't it a beauty, mum?

KITTY (_recovering_). Oh, yes, indeed, Mr. Googin. But it is a far too
expensive present for you to give me. You'd better give it to your
wife. Here, I'll wrap it all up again.

GOOGIN. But me wife won't wear orange.

KITTY. Tell her to take off the orange and replace it with a green
bow. I'll give her a nice green gauze bow.

GOOGIN (_smiling_). Will ye now?

KITTY. Yes. Take it down to her now. It will please her so much.
She'll welcome you with open arms.

GOOGIN. I'll do it. (_Takes box._) An