highway robbery, in Salt Lake for arson, in Chicago for shoplifting,
in Columbus for assault and battery, and in New York for receiving
stolen goods.

WARREN. And I thought she was my Aunt Minerva.

MISS M. (_at L.C._). Warren Williams, are you going to let that man
stand there and insult me? Throw him out of your house.

HOGAN (_C._). I was standing on me beat when I saw Dopey Daniel snatch
a swell hat from a poor old woman. She screams and he hot-foots it
down the street with me after him. This dame was standing at the
corner. She was working with him. He saw we had him all right, so he
slipped the hat to her and she made a getaway up the elevator. Come
on, Boston Bell. I've got you with the goods on you. I want that hat
for evidence. Now will you come easy or must I use the cuffs? (_Pulls
her to door R._)

MISS M. (_screams_). Kitty, Kitty! Help, help!

_Enter_ KITTY _from R._

KITTY. Aunt Minerva! (_Rushes to her and embraces her._) What is the
meaning of all this?

AUNT M. (_at R., weeping_). Oh, Kitty, Kitty, I'm arrested. On my
first visit to New York. Oh, why did I ever leave Kankakee?

KITTY. Warren, make him release her.

HOGAN. Are you sure she's your aunt?

KITTY. Of course I am. Why, we have her picture. There it is. Oh,
no--I'd forgotten.

HOGAN. I believe the whole gang of yeez is a bunch of crooks. Yeez
look like crooks, all drissed up like clowns and things.

KITTY. Eddie, call the janitor.

EDDIE. Here he comes now.

_Enter_ GOOGIN _from R. with_ MRS. GOOGIN.

HOGAN. Maginnis Googin, is it yerself?

GOOGIN. What's goin' on here, Hogan. Who's been pinched?

HOGAN. This dame is Boston Bell. We got her with the goods. She stole
a hat.

KITTY. Why, that's my hat. Isn't it, Warren?

WARREN. I thought it looked familiar. (_Takes hat._) Yes, that's your
hat. (_Takes two five-dollar bills from the lining._) Now, I know it's
your hat.

KITTY. But where did you get it, Aunt Minerva?

MISS M. Some man ran into me in the street and left it in my hand.

GOOGIN. Hogan, sure I think you've made a mistake.

HOGAN. Do you know these folks, Googin?

MRS. GOOGIN. I know them, Officer Hogan. It's the Williamses, and
they're both perfect ladies. And I'm a lady, and so was me mother
before me.

GOOGIN. Hush, Honoria. Ye've been drinkin' too much frozen egg nog.

MRS. GOOGIN (_crying_). And the ould lady that ye've pinched, sure I
blave it's me ould mother from Kilkenny, Ireland. Oh, Magi