like a hat.
(_Opens box and removes wrappings, disclosing a hideous red and orange
hat._) Heavens, what a nightmare! Red and orange and a style four
years old. It must have come from the five and ten cent store. Look at
the plume! Oh!

EDDIE (_admiring it_). Um-um, dat shore am a fine present. Your
husband certainly am a man ob taste, he shore am.

KITTY (_sarcastically_). Yes, he has wonderful taste, hasn't he? A
little bizarre. No, it's more than bizarre; it's baroque.

EDDIE. It looks like a hat to me.

KITTY. I know what I'll do. (_Wraps it up and puts it back in box._)

EDDIE. Dat certainly was a nice present, Mis' Williams. Must have cost
a heap of money.

KITTY. It probably did. But it isn't my style. And Madame Brunot never
exchanges hats. What a shame! I suppose he paid an enormous price for
it and I could have satisfied myself with one for half the money. If
only men would allow their wives to select their own Christmas
presents.

_Enter_ LAURA LACEY _from R._

LAURA. Hello, Kittens. I saw your door open and came right in.

KITTY (_kisses her_). That's right, Lolly. I was just going over to
your apartment. I have a little present for you.

LAURA. A present? You dear! (_Kisses her again._)

KITTY. Yes. Here! (_Gives her the box containing the hat._) I hope
you'll like it.

LAURA. A hat? Oh, you darling! (_Kisses her again._)

WARREN (_outside L._). Kitty!

KITTY (_goes to door at L._). Yes, Warren?

WARREN. I can't find my collar button.

KITTY. Did you look on the dresser?

WARREN. Of course I did. I've looked every place except in the
refrigerator.

KITTY. I'll be back in a minute, Laura. Excuse me. (_Hurries out L._)

LAURA (_opens the box hastily and takes out the hat_). Red and orange!
Horrors! And I gave her a cut glass cold-cream jar that I got at the
auction. I wouldn't wear this to a dog fight. Eddie!

EDDIE. Yas'm.

LAURA. You've been a good boy to us all year. I'm going to give you a
lovely Christmas present.

EDDIE. Is you?

LAURA. I'm going to give you this duck of a hat. (_Holds it up._)

EDDIE (_delighted_). Dat red and yaller hat?

LAURA. Yes. Hurry and put it in the box. I don't want Kitty Williams
to know I gave her Christmas present away. (_They put it in box._)

EDDIE. Um-um! Dat shore am some Christmas present. Won't ma lady-love
be delighted with all dat gorgeousness? I certainly am much obliged to
you, Mis' Lacey; I shore am.

LAURA. When Kitty comes b