espise any creature who fawned on us,
and praised and thanked us because we had been cruel. And why should
God be less fine than we are? Oh well, I must go to bed. One can't
settle God in the tail-end of a letter. But I'm going to say prayers
tonight, real prayers of gratitude, real uplifting of the heart in
thanks and praise. I think I was always happy, little mother. I don't
remember anything else; but it wasn't this secure happiness. I used to
be anxious sometimes. I knew we were poor, and that you were so very
precious. Now I feel safe, safe about you as well as myself. I can
look life in the eyes, quite confident, almost careless. I have such
faith in Bernd! Two together are so strong, if one of the two is Bernd.

Good night my blessed mother of my heart. I'm going to say
thank-prayers now, for you, for him, for the whole beautifulness of the
world. My windows are wide open on to the Haff. There's no sound at
all, except that little plop, plop, of the water against the terrace
wall. Sometimes a bird flutters for a moment in the trees of the
forest on either side of the garden, turning over in its sleep, I
suppose, and then everything is still again, so still; just as if some
great cool hand were laid gently on the hot forehead of the world and
was hushing it to sleep.

Your Chris who loves you.

_Koseritz, Friday, July 25th, 1914_.

Beloved mother,

Bernd was telegraphed for this afternoon from headquarters to go back
at once to Berlin, and he's gone. I'm rubbing my eyes to see if I'm
awake, it has been so sudden. The whole house seemed changed in an
instant. The Graf went too. The newspaper doesn't get here till we
are at lunch, and is always brought in and laid by the Graf, and today
there was the Austrian ultimatum to Servia in it, and when the Graf saw
that in the headlines of the _Tageszeitung_ he laid it down without a
word and got up and left the room. Bernd reached over for the paper to
see what had happened, and it was that. He read it out to us. "This
means war," he said, and the Grafin said, "Hush," very quickly; I
suppose because she couldn't bear to hear the word. Then she got up
too, and went after the Graf, and we were left, Helena and the
governess, and the children, and Bernd, and I at a confused and untidy
table, everybody with a question in their eyes, and the servants' hands
not very steady as they held the dishes. The menservants would all
have to go and f