nger
in the parlor car; and I saw that he meant to annoy me, which, I
imagined, he could do with perfect impunity.

The best thing, in fact, the only thing to do was to take the
misadventure good-humoredly.

He took out my linen and examined it in detail.

"Have these shirts all been worn?"

"Well, I guess they have. But how is it that you, an official of the
government, seem to ignore the law of your own country? Don't you know
that if all these articles are for my own private use, they are not
dutiable, whether new or not?"

The man did not answer.

He took out more linen, which he put on the floor, and spreading open a
pair of unmentionables, he asked again:

"Have you worn this? It looks quite new."

I nodded affirmatively.

He then took out a pair of socks.

"Have you worn these?"

"I don't know," I said. "Have a sniff at them."

He continued his examination, and was about to throw my evening suit on
the floor. I had up to now been _almost_ amused at the proceedings, but
I felt my good-humor was going, and the lion began to wag its tail. I
took the man by the arm, and looking at him sternly, I said:

"Now, you put this carefully on the top of some other clothes."

He looked at me and complied.

By this time all the contents of my large trunk were spread on the
floor.

He got up on his feet and said:

"Have I looked everywhere?"

"No," I said, "you haven't. Do you know how the famous Regent diamond,
worn by the last kings of France on their crowns, was smuggled into
French territory?"

[Illustration: THE CONTENTS.]

The creature looked at me with an air of impudence.

"No, I don't," he replied.

I explained to him, and added:

"You have not looked _there_."

The lion, that lies dormant at the bottom of the quietest man, was
fairly roused in me, and on the least provocation, I would have given
this man a first-class hiding.

He went away, wondering whether I had insulted him or not, and left me
in the van to repack my trunk as best I could, an operation which, I
understand, it was his duty to perform himself.

[Illustration]

CHAPTER XXIII.

CHICAGO (FIRST VISIT)--THE "NEIGHBORHOOD" OF CHICAGO--THE HISTORY OF
CHICAGO--PUBLIC SERVANTS--A VERY DEAF MAN.

_Chicago, February 17._

Oh! a lecturing tour in America!

I am here on my way to St. Paul and Minneapolis.

Just before leaving New York, I saw in a comic paper that Bismarck must
really now be considered