cut and Maine.

Heaven be praised! a gentleman invited me to have supper at a club after
the lecture.

* * * * *

_March 4._

I am sore all over. I spent the night on the bed, outside, in my day
clothes, and am bruised all over. I have pains in my gums too. Oh, that
piece of beef yesterday! I am off to Philadelphia. My bill at the hotel
amounts to $1.50. Never did I pay so much through the nose for what I
had through the mouth.

* * * * *

_Philadelphia, March 4._

Before I return to Europe I will kill a railway conductor.

[Illustration: "IMAGINE JULIUS CAESAR WITH A BIG HAT."]

From Petersburg to Richmond I was the only occupant of the parlor car.
It was bitterly cold. The conductor of the train came in the smoke-room,
and took a seat. I suppose it was his right, although I doubt it, for he
was not the conductor attached to the parlor car. He opened the window.
The cold, icy air fell on my legs, or (to use a more proper expression,
as I am writing in Philadelphia) on my lower limbs. I said nothing, but
rose and closed the window. The fellow frowned, rose, and opened the
window again.

"Excuse me," I said; "I thought that perhaps you had come here to look
after my comfort. If you have not I will look after it myself." And I
rose and closed the window.

"I want the window open," said the conductor, and he prepared to re-open
it, giving me a mute, impudent scowl.

I was fairly roused. Nature has gifted me with a biceps and a grip of
remarkable power. I seized the man by the collar of his coat.

"As true as I am alive," I exclaimed, "if you open this window, I will
pitch you out of it." And I prepared for war. The cur sneaked away and
made an exit compared to which a whipped hound's would be majestic.

* * * * *

I am at the Bellevue, a delightful hotel. My friend Wilson Barrett is
here, and I have come to spend the day with him. He is playing every
night to crowded houses, and after each performance he has to make a
speech. This is his third visit to Philadelphia. During the first visit,
he tells me that the audience wanted a speech after each act.

It is always interesting to compare notes with a friend who has been
over the same ground as yourself. So I was eager to hear Mr. Wilson
Barrett's impressions of his long tour in the States.

Several points we both agreed perfectly upon at once; the ch