s room to-night."

And I seized my pillow.

"You are not meaty," exclaimed the reporter.

"May I inquire what the meaning of this strange expression is?" I said,
frowning; "I don't speak American fluently."

"It means," he replied, "that there is very little to be got out of
you."

"Are you going?" I said, smiling.

"Well, I guess I am."

"Good-night."

"Good-night."

I bolted the door, turned out the gas, and "re-retired."

"Poor fellow," I thought; "perhaps he relied on me to supply him with
material for a column. I might have chatted with him. After all, these
reporters have invariably been kind to me. I might as well have obliged
him. What is he going to do?"

And I dreamed that he was dismissed.

I ought to have known better.

This morning I opened the Brushville _Express_, and, to my stupefaction,
saw a column about me. My impressions of Brushville, that I had no
opportunity of looking at, were there. Nay, more. I would blush to
record here the exploits I performed during the Franco-Prussian war, as
related by my interviewer, especially those which took place at the
battle of Gravelotte, where, unfortunately, I was not present. The whole
thing was well written. The reference to my military services began
thus: "Last night a hero of the great Franco-Prussian war slept under
the hospitable roof of Morrison Hotel, in this city."

"Slept!" This was adding insult to injury.

* * * * *

This morning I had the visit of two more reporters.

"What do you think of Brushville?" they said; and, seeing that I would
not answer the question, they volunteered information on Brushville, and
talked loud on the subject. I have no doubt that the afternoon papers
will publish my impressions of Brushville.

[Illustration]

CHAPTER XXXV.

THE UNIVERSITY OF INDIANA--INDIANAPOLIS--THE VETERANS OF THE GRAND
ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC ON THE SPREE--A MARVELOUS EQUILIBRIST.

_Bloomington, Ind., March 13._

Lectured yesterday before the students of the University of Indiana, and
visited the different buildings this morning. The university is situated
on a hill in the midst of a wood, about half a mile from the little town
of Bloomington.

In a few days I shall be at Ann Arbor, the University of Michigan, the
largest in America, I am told. I will wait till then to jot down my
impressions of university life in this country.

* * * * *

I