Pan-lovers, and all the
nymph-worshipping crew!"

I've "reported" as near as no matter! I don't hunderstand more than
arf
Of his patter; he's preciously given to potry and classical charf.
But the cheek on it, CHARLIE! A Stone-broke! I _should_ like to give
him wot for,
Only DANNEL the Dosser's a dab orf of whom t'ain't so easy to score.

[Illustration]

But it's time that this bunkum was bunnicked, bin fur too much on it
of late--
Us on 'OPKINS's 'Ouse-boat, I tell yer, cared nix for the
ink-spiller's "slate."
_I_ mean doin' them Broads later on, for free fishing and shooting,
that's flat.
If I don't give them dash'd Norfolk Dumplings a doing, I'll 'eat my
old 'at.

Rooral quiet, and rest, and refinement? Oh, let 'em go home and eat
coke.
These fussy old footlers whose 'air stands on hend at a row-de-dow
joke,
The song of the skylark sounds pooty, but "skylarking" song's better
fun,
And you carn't do the rooral to-rights on a tract and a tuppenny bun.

As to colour, and kick-up, and sing-song, our party was fair to the
front;
But we wosn't alone; lots of toppers, in 'Ouse-Boat, or four-oar, or
punt,
Wos a doin' the rorty and rosy as lively as 'OPKINS's lot,
Ah! the swells sling it out pooty thick; _they_ ain't stashed by no
ink-spiller's rot.

Bright blazers, and twingle-twang banjoes, and bottles of Bass, my
dear boy,
Lots of dashing, and splashing, and "mashing" are things every man
must enjoy,
And the petticoats ain't fur behind 'em, you bet. While top-ropes I
can carry,
It ain't soap-board slop about "Quiet" will put the clear kibosh on

'ARRY.

* * * * *

HOW TO SPEND A HOLIDAY ON SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES.

(_A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF AN ENTHUSIAST IN SEARCH OF REST._)

["It is a good rule of practice to devote one portion of a
short vacation to the serious and necessary business of doing
nothing, and doing it very thoroughly too."--_Letter to the
Times._]

At last my time for rest has arrived. Musn't be idle, though. Dr.
MORTIMER GRANVILLE says it would be most injurious to my health. Must
hunt up precedents for leisure leading to no results. Let me see--why
not try the British Museum? Sure to find something useful there--and
useless, which will be more appropriate.

Take an omnibus. See one in the distance.