so _Miss Helyett Smithson_ became _Miss Decima
Jackson_, i.e., the tenth, instead of the eleventh, of the worthy
pastor's family. The fact that all her sisters are married, makes
single unblessedness a reproach to her. No sort of purpose would
have been served by such a wholesale massacre of innocents as the
extinction of all _Pastor Smithson's_, alias _Jackson's_, ten "pretty
chicks at one fell swoop."

Miss NESVILLE, the foreign representative of _Miss Decima_ at the
Criterion, is uncommonly childlike and bland; moreover, she sings
charmingly; while of Mr. DAVID JAMES as the pastor _Jackson_ it may be
said, "Sure such a _pere_ was never seen!" The Irishman, Mr. CHAUNCEY
OLCOTT, has a mighty purty voice, and gains a hearty _encore_ for
a ditty of which the music is not particularly striking. Mr. PERCY
REEVE has written words which go glibly to AUDRAN's music, and fit
the situations. The piece is capitally played and sung all round; and
marvellous is Miss VICTOR as the Spanish mother. The _mise-en-scene_
is far better here than it is in Paris, where this "musical-comedy" is
still an attraction.

* * * * *

HOW TO BE POPULAR.

(_ADVICE TO AN ASPIRANT._)

Dear sir, if you long for the love of a nation,
If you wish to be _feted_, applauded, caressed;
If you hope for receptions, and want an ovation,
By the populace cheered, by Town Councils addressed;
I can give you succinctly a certain receipt--
Be detected at once and denounced as a cheat.

It's as easy as lying; you eat all your cake, Sir,
And you have it as well, which was never a sin,
By adding a trifling amount to your stake, Sir,
When the points of the cards show you're certain to win.
You'll be slapped on the back by the "man in the street,"
Who delights to sing paeans in praise of a cheat.

They take the poor thief or the forger to jail, oh,
Where he cleans out his cell and picks oakum all day;
_You_ pose as a martyr and get a cheap halo
Ready-made by the public, with nothing to pay.
Believe me, dear Sir, there is nothing can beat
For triumph and joy the career of a cheat.

* * * * *

EXIT LA CLAQUE.--"_A partir d'apres demain samedi_," says the _Figaro_
for August 6:--"M. LEMONNIER, _le Directeur d'ete et l'auteur de
Madame la Marechale, supprime le service de la claque a 'Ambigu_."
When _Madame la Marechale_ has finished her run, will the