him, and he quit fighting his wife, just
like a man. Pa wanted to know what in thunder was the matter with the
animals, and wanted to know if I had fed them the turnips, and I told
him they had all been fed, and just then the giraffe, whose neck was so
long the horseradish did not reach a vital spot as quick as it did with
the hippo, began to yell for the police and dance around. Finally he
stood on his head and neck, with his heels against a cage, and coughed
like he had caught pneumonia. Pa said to the boss canvasman: "Well, what
do you think of that?"

The zebras had their inning next, and after they had swallowed their
rations of horseradish, they never said a word, but began to run around
like dancing the lancers, and when they got to going it looked like a
kaleidoscope, and the six zebras looked like a million. Pa said: "I
never saw such a sight since I used to drink, but I have either got the
jim-jams, or something awful has happened to this menagerie."

The educated hog got a double dose, and he squealed and couldn't pick
out the right card, and then the llamas got busy on their portion of
horseradish, and they cried in Spanish, and stood on their hind legs and
shed tears. Pa got so rattled he looked ten years older than he did when
the afternoon performance opened. The manager of the big show came in to
know why the elephants had not been sent into the dressing-room, to be
got ready for the grand entree. Just then the elephants began to eat
their horseradish, and when they were driven into the big tent they were
complaining about something being wrong inside of them, and as they came
by the lemonade stand they seemed to be yelling "Fire!" Then they all
stopped at the stand and began to drink the lemonade out of the barrels,
which seemed to put out the fire.

The animals quieted down a little, and pa went into the big tent to
consult the manager, and I thought it was a shame that the lions and
hyenas and tigers couldn't have any fun, so I went to the table where
the meat was laid out ready to feed them, and cut a hole in each piece
of meat and put in a double handful of horseradish, and just then the
feeder came along and began to throw the meat in the cages. Gee, but
those carnivorous animals are bad enough even if you give them nice
boiled sirloin steak, and they fight enough over it, at any time, but
when they began to chew and tear the meat, and get horseradish hot from
the griddle, they didn't do a thing.