?
Oh, you wait and see. Fun? Well, I should say so. Hope they'll clear all
those boys off the rail. Here! Get down off that rail. Think we can see
through you? You're thin, but you're not thin enough for that. Yes, I
mean you, and don't you give me any of your impudence either. Look at
those women out there. Right spang in the way of the scraper. Isn't
that a woman all over? A woman and a hen, I don't know which is--Well,
hel-lo! Where'd you come from? How's all the folks? Where's Lizzie?
Didn't she come with you? Aw, isn't that too bad? Scalding hot! Ts! Ts!
Ts! Seems as if they made preserving kettles apurpose so's they'd tip
up when you go to pour anything.... Why, I guess we can. Move over a
little, Charley. Can you squeeze in? That's all right. Pretty thick
around here, isn't it? There's the band starting up. About time, I
think. Teedle-eedle umtum, teedle-eedle, um-tum. "Hiawatha," of course.
What other tune is there on earth? I've got so I know almost all of it.

First is--let me see the program. First is what Mat. King calls "the
juveline contest." It says here: "Run with truck carrying three ladders
one hundred yards. Take fifteen-foot ladder from truck, raise it against
structure"--that's the judges' stand--"and boy ascend. Time to be taken
when climber grasps top rung of ladder." They're off. That pistol-shot
started them. Why can't people sit down? See just as well if they did.
New Berlin's, I guess. Pretty good. He's hanging out the slate with the
time on it. Eighteen and four-fifths. Oh, no, never in the world. Here's
the Mt. Victory boys. See that light-haired boy. Go it, towhead! Ah,
they've got the ladder crooked. Eighteen. That's not so bad .... Oh,
quit your fooling. He's nothing of the kind. Honestly? What! that old
skeezicks? Who to, for pity's sake? Well, I thought he was a confirmed
old bachelor, if anybody ever was. Well, sir, that just goes to show
that any man, I don't care who he is, can get married if he--Who were
those? Are those the Caledonia juveniles? I don't think much of 'em, do
you? Seventeen and two-fifths. I wouldn't have thought it. So their team
gets the first prize. Well, we weren't in that.

What's next? "First prize, silver water-set, donated by Hon. William
Krouse." Since when did old Bill Krouse get to be "Honorable?" Yes,
well, don't talk to me about Bill Krouse. I know him and his whole
connection and there isn't an honest hair--"Association trophy will
also be competed for