ow na-ow!" Eh, Mary, how would you like to lug
them around all day and then stand up in the cars all the way home?

Well, good-by. Hope you had a nice time. Give my regards to all the
folks. Don't be in such a rush, my friend.... Oh, did you see? It must
be the man that got hit on the head with the ladder. Taking him home on
a stretcher. Gee! That's tough. Skull fractured, eh? Dear! Dear! I
hear they have been keeping company a long time, and were to have been
married soon. No wonder she cried and took on so. Poor girl! Yes, it's
the women that suffer .... Oh, quite a day for accidents. I didn't mind,
though, after I had changed my clothes. I took some quinine, and I
guess I'll be all right. Lucky you got a seat. Well, you're off at last.
Good-by. Remember me to all. Good-by.

Well, thank goodness, that's over. Another ten minutes of them and
wouldn't have--Well, Mary, what else could I do but ask them home after
he told me what they didn't have to eat at the Ladies' Aid?... It was
all right. Plenty good enough. Better than they have at home and I'll
bet on it. The table looked beautiful. I'm glad the Tournament doesn't
come but once a year. I'm about ready to drop.

THE DEVOURING ELEMENT

Mr. Silverstone was gloomily considering whether he had not better blow
out the lights in the New York One Price Clothing Store, and lock up for
the night. Kerosene was fifteen cents a gallon, and not a customer had
been in since supper-time. Business was "ofle, simbly ofle."

The streets were empty. There were lights only in the barber shop where
one patron was being lathered while two mandolins and a guitar gave a
correct imitation of two house-flies and a bluebottle in Riley's
where, in default of other occupation, Mr. Riley was counting up;
in Oesterle's, where a hot discussion was going on as to whether
Christopher Columbus was a Dutchman or a Dago, and in Miller's, where
Tom Ball was telling Tony, who impassively wiped the perforated brass
plate let into the top of the bar, that he, Tom Ball, "coul' lick em man
ill Logan coun'y."

Lamps shone in every parlor, where little girls labored with: "And one
and two, three and one and two, three," occasionally coming out to look
at the clock to see if the hour was any nearer being up than it was
five minutes ago. They also shone in sitting-rooms, where boys looked
fiercely at "X2 +2Xy+y2," mothers placidly darned stockings, and
fathers, Weekly Examiner in hand, patiently s