ike a flower,
it grows, it happens. That's all. An' unless you charge the devil's own
price for it, people will think you are cheating them.'

"'Wisha, I suppose the best anyone can do is to take all you can get an'
if you want to be a philanthropist, give away what you don't want,' ses
the grasshopper.

"'All worth missing I catches,' ses the whale, 'an' all worth catchin'
I misses, like the fisherwoman who missed the fish and caught a crab.
How's things in Europe? I didn't see the papers this morning.'

"'Europe is in a bad way,' ses the grasshopper. 'She was preaching
civilization for centuries so that she might be prepared when war came
to annihilate herself.'

"'It looks that way to me,' ses the whale. 'Is there anything else worth
while going on in the world?'

"'There's the Irish question,' ses the grasshopper.

"'Where's that, Ireland is?' ses the whale. 'Isn't that an island to the
west of England?'

"'No,' ses the grasshopper, 'but England is an island to the east of
Ireland.'

"'Wisha,' ses the whale, 'it gives me indigestion to hear people talking
about Ireland. Sure, I nearly swallowed it up be mistake while I was on
a holiday in the Atlantic last year, an' I'm sorry now that I didn't.'

"'An' I'm sorry that you didn't try,' ses the grasshopper. 'Then you'd
know something about indigestion. The less you have to say about Ireland
the less you'll have to be sorry for. Remember that me father came from
Cork.'

"'Can't I say what I like?' ses the whale.

"'You can think what you like,' ses the grasshopper, 'but say what other
people like if you want to be a good politician.'

"'There's nothin' so much abused as politics,' ses the whale.

"'Except politicians,' ses the grasshopper. 'Only for the Irish they'd
be no one bothering about poetry and the drama to-day. Only for fools
they'd be no wise people an' only for sprats, hake, and mackerel there
'ud be no whales an' a good job that would be, too.'

"'What's that you're saying?' ses the whale very sharply.

"'Don't have me to lose me temper with you,' ses the grasshopper.

"'Wisha, bad luck to your impudence an' bad manners, you insignificant
little spalpeen. How dare you insult your superiors?' ses the whale.

"'Who's me superior?' ses the grasshopper. 'You, is it?'

"'Yes, me then,' ses the whale.

"'Another word from you,' ses the whale, 'an' I'll put you where
Napoleon put the oysters.'

"'Well,' ses the grasshopper, 'there's no doub