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' ses the whale. 'I suppose the poor old soul had her fill of days, an' sure we all must die, an' 'tis cheaper to be dead than alive at any time. A man never knows that he's dead when he's dead an' he never knows he's alive until he's married.' "'You're a great one to expatiate on things you know nothing about, like the barbers and the cobblers,' said the grasshopper. 'I only want to know if you're coming to the funeral to-morrow?' "'I'm sorry I can't,' ses the whale. 'Me grandfather is getting married, for the tenth time, an' as I was in China on the last few occasions I must pay me respects by being present at to-morrow's festivities,' ses he. "'I'm sorry you can't come,' ses the grasshopper, 'because you are heartily welcome an' you'd add prestige to the ceremony besides.' "'I know that,' ses the whale, 'but America doesn't care much about ceremony.' "'Who told you that?' ses the grasshopper. "'Haven't I me eyesight, an' don't I read the newspapers,' ses the whale. "'You mustn't read the society columns, then,' ses the grasshopper. "'Wisha, for the love of St. Crispin,' ses the whale 'have they society columns in the American newspapers?' "'Indeed they have,' ses the grasshopper, 'and they oftentimes devote a few columns to other matters when the dressmakers don't be busy.' "'America is a strange country surely, a wonderful country, not to say a word about the length and breadth of it. I swam around it twice last week without stoppin,' to try an' reduce me weight, an' would you believe me that I was tired after the journey, but the change of air only added to me proportions.' "'That's too bad,' said the grasshopper. "'Are you an American?' said the whale. "'Of course I am,' ses the grasshopper. 'You don't think 'tis the way I'd be born at sea an' no nationality at all like yourself. I'm proud of me country.' "'And why, might I ask?' "'Well don't we produce distinguished Irishmen? Don't we make Americans of the Europeans and Europeans of the Americans? Think of all the connoisseurs who wouldn't buy a work of art in their own country when they could go to Europe and pay ten times its value for the pot-boilers that does be turned out in the studios of Paris and London.' "'There's nothin' like home industry,' ses the whale, 'in a foreign country, I mean.' "'After all, who knows anything about a work of art but the artist? and very little he knows about it, either. A work of art is l
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