structed. Still, for all that, I have a sufficiently strict
account to give to God for the bad example I am to all about me in some
other respects. May it please His Majesty to forgive me, for I have been
the cause of much evil. For one thing, the devil sometimes fills me with
such a harsh and cruel temper: such a spirit of anger and hostility at
some people, that I could eat them up and annihilate them. At the same
time, concerning things said of myself in detraction, and they are many,
and are very prejudicial to me, I find myself much improved. These
things make little impression upon me. I am under them as a deaf man
that hears not, and as a man in whose mouth there is no retaliation. Nay,
I almost always see that my greatest detractors have only too good reason
for what they say. In this way my soul actually gains peace and strength
under detraction, till it becomes a great favour done me, and a great
advantage. Upon betaking myself to prayer, I find in my heart neither
repugnance at my detractors nor enmity. For, although, when I first hear
the detraction, it causes me a little disconcert, yet not any
long-lasting disquiet or alteration. Nay, sometimes when I see people
take pity on me because of my detractors, I laugh at them, so little do
all my detractors now hurt me.

ON SELF-EXCUSING

That which I am now to persuade you to, namely, the not excusing of
yourselves, causes a great confusion in me. For it is a very perfect
quality and of great merit; and I ought far better to practise what I
tell you concerning this excellent virtue. I confess myself to be but
little improved in this noble duty. For it is a mark of the deepest and
truest humility to see ourselves condemned without cause, and to be
silent under it. It is a very noble imitation of our Lord. Were I truly
humble, I would desire disesteem, even though having in the matter in
hand given no real offence. Here no bodily strength is needed, my
daughters, nor any one's assistance, but God's. How well is this
written, and how ill is it practised by the writer! Indeed, I never
could make trial of this grace in any matter of consequence, because I
never heard of any one speaking ill of me, but I immediately saw how far
short he came of the full truth. For, if he was wrong or exaggerated in
his particulars, I had offended God much more in other matters that my
detractor knew nothing about. And, methought, God favoured me much in
not