ore grace
is received from God. And I, for my part, believe, that this bitter
sorrow will never leave us till we come where neither sin nor anything
else will ever disquiet us. True, both past sin, and present sinfulness,
affect us more at one time than at another; and, likewise, in a different
manner. I know one who often wishes for death, that she may be freed
from the torment of her sinful heart. No one's sins can equal hers,
because there can be no one who has obtained such favours of her God. Her
fear is not so much of hell, as that she should so grieve God's Holy
Spirit, that He will be wearied out, and will forsake her, and leave her
in her sins. This fear and pain is not at all eased by believing that
her past sins have all been forgiven and forgotten of God. Nay, her fear
and pain but increase by seeing such mercy extended toward a woman who
deserves nothing but hell.

ON LEARNING AND INTELLECT

I always had a great respect and affection for intellectual and learned
men. It is my experience that all who intend to be true Christians will
do well to treat with men of mind and books about their souls. The more
learning our preachers and pastors have the better. For if they have not
much experience themselves, yet they know the Scriptures and the recorded
experiences of the saints better than we do. The devil is exceedingly
afraid of learning, especially where it is accompanied with humility and
virtue. For my own part, I bless God continually, and we women, and all
such as are not ourselves intellectual or learned, are always to give God
infinite thanks that there are some men in the world who take such great
pains to attain to that knowledge which we need but do not possess. And
it delights me to see men taking the immense trouble they do take to
bring me so much profit, and that without any trouble to me. I have only
to sit still and hear them. I have only to come and ask them a question.
Let us pray for our teachers, for what would we do without them. I
beseech the Lord to bless our teachers, that they may be more and more a
blessing to us.

When I spoke of humility, it must not be understood as if I spoke against
aspiring after the highest things that mind and heart and life can attain
to. For though I have no ability for the wisdom and the knowledge of God
myself, and am so miserable that God did me a great favour in teaching me
the very lowliest truths: yet, in my judgment, learning