ly on about the
919th lap Bunch discovered dollar bill tucked away in a corner,
whereupon we turned our faces to every point of the compass and
called down maledictions on the head of Flash Harvey, wherever he
might be, and then ducked for the trolley.

When we finally reached the Hotel Astor it was a quarter past ten,
so we decided it was too late for dinner and we didn't go in.

At home--but what's the use?

The war is over now and a treaty of peace has been signed.

We are even with Flash Harvey, though.

He got speed-foolish in the Bubble and tried to give an imitation
of a torpedo destroyer, with the result that a Reub constable
pinched him and the whole outfit and threw him in a rural Bastile
for the night.

That's what delayed him.

JOHN HENRY ON BRIDGE WHIST

I received a letter the other day that put me over the ropes.

I'll paste it up here just to show you that it's on the level:

PHILADELPHIA, This Week.

Dear John:--I have never met you personally, but I've heard my
brother, Teddy, speak of you so often that you really seem to be
one of the family.

(Teddy talks slang something fierce.)

Dear John, will you please pardon the liberty I take in grabbing a
two-cent stamp and jumping so unceremoniously at one who is, after
all, a perfect stranger?

Dear John, if you look around you can see on every hand that the
glad season of the year is here, and if you listen attentively you
may hear the hoarse cry of the summer resort beckoning us to that
burn from which no traveller returns without getting his pocketbook
dislocated.

Dear John, could you please tell me how to play bridge whist, so
that when I go to the seashore I will be armed for defraying
expenses.

Dear John, I am sure that if I could play bridge whist loud enough
to win four dollars every once in a while I could spend a large
bunch of the summer at the seashore.

Dear John, would you tell a loving but perfect stranger how to play
the game without having to wear a mask?

Dear John, I played a couple of games recently with a wide faced
young man who grew very playful and threw the parlor furniture at
me because I trumpeted his ace. I fancy I must have did wrong.
The fifth time I trumpeted his ace the young man arose, put on his
gum shoes, and skeedaddled out of the house. Is it not considered
a breach of etiquette to put on gum shoes in the presence of a lady?

If you please, dear John, tell me how to play bridge whis