ng brick-layer on his
father's side, but on account of the fortune left him by his
mother, he is now butterflying through life in a gasolene barouche
with diamond settings in the tires.

Hank Dobbs and his daughter, Crystaline, sailed on the Oceanic
yesterday for the Riviera. Before the steamship pulled out Hank
admitted that he didn't know whether the Riviera was a city or a
new kind of cheese, but if money could do the trick he intended to
know the truth.

Mr. and Mrs. James Shine von Shine were divorced yesterday at the
home of the bride's parents in Newport. The ceremony was very
simple but expensive to the ex-husband. Considerable alimony
changed hands.

The private cottage of Mrs. Offulrich Swellswell at Bar Harbor has
been beautifully decorated in honor of the approaching divorce of
their daughter, Gladys, from her husband, Percy Skiddoo. Percy is
the well-known manufacturer of the reversible two-step so much used
by Society.

Cards are all out for a divorce in the family of the Von Guzzles,
but owing to a typographical error in the cards it is impossible to
say whether it is the old man or the son. Both employ blonde
typewriters.

JOHN HENEY ON GREAT MEN

Uncle Peter is one of the gamest little chunks of humanity that
ever looked the world in the eye, but when he heard the edict put
forth by Doctor Osler the old man went overboard with a splash.

He was under water a long time.

He thought the Bogey Man had him for sure.

Uncle Peter felt that it would no longer be possible for him to
pass a drug store without some young fellow rushing out with a
handkerchief full of chloroform and yelling, "Here, you old
chestnut! here's where you get it in the nose!"

In the dark watches of the night Uncle Peter used to wake up
covered with cold perspiration, because he had dreamed that Doc
Osler was pounding him on the bald spot with a baseball bat after
having poured hair dye all over his breakfast food.

At last Uncle Peter got so nervous I advised him to write to the
Doctor.

"Ask him if he won't commute your sentence because you live in the
country and are a commuter," I suggested.

The doctor replied to Uncle Peter at once and I will try to
translate his letter from Johns Hopkins into pure English, as near
as I can remember:

JOHNS HOPKINS, To-day.

Dear Uncle Peter:--When I cut loose with the observation that men
were all in at 40 and _rauss mittim_ at 60 I kept several
exceptions u