the deed in self-defence." And he did--go to the closet, and--

"Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas Pie."

See the smiles as they wreathe themselves on his chubby countenance. How
little JACK looks at the pie! how he turns it round and round to find
the best spot whereon to begin the attack! How he smacks his lips, and
thinks how nice it would be if he _could_ wish to give SUSAN ANN a
taste! But he can't.

Suddenly an idea strikes JACK. He has heard Uncle TOM talk of a big war
between Frawnce and Proossia, and all about the soldiers and the cannon,
and the big noises. Little JACK will make war on the pie. He will be
Frawnce, the pie will be Proossia. He sets it squarely before him on the
floor; rolls up his sleeves, may be; his eyes sparkle with
determination; he finds the most vulnerable spot in the crust; he makes
one bold dive with his thumb, it goes down, down down, crushing
everything before it; it feels something; renewed vigor flows through
JACK'S veins, and gives him new strength for the attack; victory crowns
him; and, in the words of the poet,

"He pulled out a plum,
And said, 'What a brave boy am I.'"

--Now he is happy. He has realized his fondest hopes. The blue-bottle
has no tickle for him now. He was Frawnce and he has licked Proossia.
There is nothing left but the plate, and his teeth are not hard enough
for that.

* * * * *

"Hooray for the Impurrur!"

The ardor with which our Milesian element embraces the cause of France
furnishes a puzzle for many thoughtful minds; and yet its solution is
simple. In planning a passage of the Rhine, LOUIS NAPOLEON proposes to
BRIDGET. That's all.

* * * * *

A Roland for his Oliver.

OLIVER DYER, of the _Sun_, is the original "Dyer Necessity that
knows no law."

* * * * *

OUR PORTFOLIO.

And now comes to light another divorce case in Chicago. Mrs. HUGG sues
Mr. HUGG for a decree _e vinculo matrimonii_. If there is anything in a
name, no one will gainsay the observation that if hugging has lost its
charm, Mrs. HUGG is the last person to make a fuss about it. She took
her HUGG with a full knowledge of the circumstances, and it is contrary
to public policy and good morals that her plea of "hugged out" should
enable her to obtain the remedy which she seeks.

In France they do not wait for the completion of the years of
adolescence to dub a