.]

* * * * *

IDIOTIC ITEMS.

On Tuesday last one of the swans in Central Park laid a hen's egg.

A celebrated English professor of heraldry is now at Long Branch,
studying the crests of the waves.

Dr. LIVINGSTONE is no longer a white man. The large colored princess
whom he has been compelled to marry has beaten him black and blue.

Louis NAPOLEON'S first bulletin about the war was the bullet in the
pocket of NAP Junior.

An intelligent cordwainer of this city has invented a bathing shoe to
fit the under-toe at Long Branch.

The lock of the writing-desk made with his own hands by LOUIS NAPOLEON,
at Hoboken, has been presented to the Empress EUGENIE by a gentleman
residing at Union Hill, in exchange for a lock of her Majesty's hair.

Yesterday, while three eminent Wall street brokers--names, BROWN, JONES,
and ROBINSON--were engaged in watering stock, they fell in and were
drowned. Loss fully covered by insurance.

CARL FORMES is oddly reported to have lost his Bass voice through over
indulgence in lager-beer. He drank a barrel of beer a day, and his voice
has now become a barrel organ.

In France the _Marseillaise_ has become the national Him; while, in
Prussia, BISMARCK is decidedly the national Herr.

A French paper has an article respecting certain musical fishes found in
the Indian Seas, They ought to be engaged for PIKE'S Opera House.

The annual panther, weighing 8 ft., 9 inches, from snout to tip of tail,
and measuring 213 lbs., has just been killed in the Adirondacks by a
reporter.

* * * * *

POLITICAL CLAPTRAP.

The sympathy exhibited by the _Sun_ reporters and editors for the
unhappy victim of Ogre Tammany is particularly touching.

Association with the Wickedest Man in New York, the Honorable JOHN
ALLEN, _protege_ of the Reverend OLIVER DYER, has evidently demoralized
the pure beings who control the immaculate sheet known as the _Sun_,
whose putrescent light "shines for all."

These panders to the depraved taste of a depraved portion of the
community, may exult in the spectacle presented in the City of New York
on Sunday, the 7th inst., but is it not a sorrowful thing in a so-called
Christian land to see a murderer borne with triumph to his grave, while
pseudo philanthropists deck his bier with flowers, and deliberately
charge a great political party with having hunted the wretched man to
his death?

Was there no nobler g