fir, but the Z. K. converted him."

Such a circumstance may be fallen upon without going so far as Africa to
seek for it. JOHN ALLEN, of Water Street, was, once upon a time, the
Zulu Kaffir of DANA of the _Sun_ and his fascinating Satellite, OLIVER
DYER.

The ways of JOHN ALLEN were very wicked when these pious
missionaries threw themselves upon his trail, and tried to convert him.
Perhaps the reformatory effort was well meant; but, alas! for the
feebleness of all human arrangements--JOHN ALLEN remains the reprobate
he was, while he to his flock has brought DANA, the _Sun_ man, and DYER,
the Satellite man, converts to the Allenian theory that money made from
dirt is the only healthful stimulant to virtuous toil.

And so it was that DANA the devout, and DYER the saintly, went forth to
convert the Zulu Kaffir of Water Street, and the Z. F. converted them.

* * * * *

Ready for Another Heat.

The horses of PHOEBUS.

* * * * *

A Royal Game.

The ex-queen of Spain fears that ALFONSO will be "euchred." She remarked
to him recently, Play you're king.

* * * * *

CONTEMPORARY SENTIMENTS,

On the Great War Question.

"WILLIAM'S my man!" cries one enthusiast,--
"He'll be in Paris, _sure_, within ten days!"
"'Paris' your Granny!" cries one just as fast;
"'Ere that, man! you'll see Berlin in a blaze!"

"France has the finest soldiers ever seen!"
Says one who knows; "they never can be beat!"
One who knows also, says, "the French are green!
Their only real strength is in their fleet!"

"Oh, hang their fleet!" exclaims another man;
"It's useless now,--it has no work to do!
But let France use her navy all she can,
You'll see if Prussia doesn't put her through!"

"Prussia ain't able!" cries an eager one:
"Let her drink all the lager in her shops,
She'll find the little job is not yet done,
For all there's such enormous strength in hops!"

"And if there's any danger comes to France,"
Remarks the seventh man, "_Ireland_ will arise!"
"And if she does, old England will advance!"
The eighth (an Englishman,) with pride replies.

And so they have it hot, for half a day,--
First A., then B., then C. and D. at once,
And thus the precious moments roll away,
And none can tell who is the greatest dunce.