ordinary Ledger-demain.

The Soldiers' Monument at Cambridge is the result of the combined
efforts of CYRUS and DARIUS COBB, whereas, SYLVANUS, alone and
unassisted, is able to raise, every week, a tall column on the surface
of the _N.Y. Ledger._

* * * * *

Censor of the Press.

The unfortunate official who sought reliable information, the other day,
respecting the age and immense property possessions of PUNCHINELLO, on
comparing his notes subsequently, remarked to a friend that he felt as
if he had temporarily lost his Census.

* * * * *

Appropriate.

DANA, of the _Sun_, is about to open an undertaker's establishment for
the arrangement of murderer's obsequies. Motto--"Pinking done here."

* * * * *

The Wrong Mouth.

A LITTLE Fourth-of-Julyer in Pittsburgh, going along with his mouth
open, (after the manner of boys), caught a fire-cracker therein, just as
the cracker was going off. He had often had crackers in his mouth, but
preceding ones had proved nourishing and non-explosive; whereas, this
cracker was quite the reverse. As a consequence, the boy has lost his
voice, but (what is curious, certainly,) is otherwise all sound.

Were we certain that heaving a fire-cracker into an open mouth would
always produce such a result, we should certainly hire some one to shut
up the noisier of our public nuisances--such as G.F. TRAIN, and several
members of Congress. This could be easily done, as their mouths are
always open, and usually are very large ones. We invite proposals from
boys, relating to next season's operations.

* * * * *

Theft Extraordinary.

A weekly journal gravely informs a correspondent that "the line, 'A
thing of beauty is a joy forever,' occurs in TUPPER's _Proverbial
Philosophy_."

Shades of the poets! More than fifty years ago, JOHN KEATS commenced a
poem called "Endymion," with that very line. To think that he should
have gone and borrowed it from TUPPER!

* * * * *

Politician's Plant.

See WEED.

* * * * *

[Illustration:

THE LATEST MELODRAMATIC DODGE OF A PLAYED-OUT POLITICIAN.

PROMPTER DANA, OF THE "SUN," GIVES THE CUE TO A _REAL_ SKELETON.]

* * * * *

Conversion of the "Sun."

It was said of Bishop COLENSO that he "undertook to convert a Zulu
Kaf