. You see
how the world wags, gentlemen. By gad, this rogue of a vicar does not
deserve to live; and yet he has two livings worth four hundred pounds
per annum, while poor I am fain to do all his drudgery, and ride twenty
miles every Sunday to preach--for what? why, truly, for twenty pounds
a year. I scorn to boast of my own qualifications but--comparisons are
odious. I should be glad to know how this wag-bellied doctor deserves to
be more at ease than me. He can loll in his elbow chair at home, indulge
himself in the best of victuals and wine and enjoy the conversation
of Betty, his housekeeper. You understand me, gentlemen. Betty is the
doctor's poor kinswoman, and a pretty girl she is; but no matter for
that; ay, and dutiful girl to her parents, whom she visits regularly
every year, though I must own I could never learn in what county they
live, My service t'ye, gentlemen."

By this time dinner being ready, I waked my companion, and we ate
altogether with great cheerfulness. When our meal was ended, and every
man's share of the reckoning adjusted, the curate went out on pretence
of some necessary occasion, and, mounting his house, left the two
farmers to satisfy the host in the best manner they could. We were no
sooner informed of this piece of finesse, than the exciseman, who had
been silent hitherto, began to open with a malicious grin: "Ay, ay this
is an old trick of Shuffle; I could not help smiling when he talked of
treating. You must know this is a very curious fellow. He picked up some
scraps of learning while he served young Lord Trifte at the university.
But what he most excels in is pimping. No one knows his talents
better than I, for I was valet-de-chambre to Squire Tattle an intimate
companion of Shuffle's lord. He got him self into a scrape by pawning
some of his lordship's clothes on which account he was turned away; but,
as he was acquainted with some particular circumstances of my lord's
conduct, he did not care to exasperate him too much, and so made
interest for his receiving orders, and afterwards recommended him to
the curacy which he now enjoys. However, the fellow cannot be too much
admired for his dexterity in making a comfortable livelihood, in spite
of such a small allowance. You hear he plays a good stick, and is really
diverting company; these qualifications make him agreeable wherever
he goes; and, as for playing at cards there is not a man within three
counties for him. The truth is, he i