but,
good heavens! there is no competing with a lion who has no proboscis at
all."

X-ING A PARAGRAPH

AS it is well known that the 'wise men' came 'from the East,' and as
Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came from the East, it follows that Mr.
Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be
needed, here we have it--Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his sole
foible, for in fact the obstinacy of which men accused him was anything
but his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It was his
strong point--his virtue; and it would have required all the logic of a
Brownson to convince him that it was 'anything else.'

I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the only
occasion on which he did not prove infallible, was when, abandoning that
legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he migrated to the city of
Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place of a similar title, out
West.

I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up his
mind finally to settle in that town, it was under the impression that
no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that particular
section of the country. In establishing 'The Tea-Pot' he expected to
have the field all to himself. I feel confident he never would have
dreamed of taking up his residence in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis
had he been aware that, in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a
gentleman named John Smith (if I rightly remember), who for many
years had there quietly grown fat in editing and publishing the
'Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette.' It was solely, therefore, on
account of having been misinformed, that Mr. Bullet-head found himself
in Alex-suppose we call it Nopolis, 'for short'--but, as he did find
himself there, he determined to keep up his character for obst--for
firmness, and remain. So remain he did; and he did more; he unpacked his
press, type, etc., etc., rented an office exactly opposite to that of
the 'Gazette,' and, on the third morning after his arrival, issued
the first number of 'The Alexan'--that is to say, of 'The Nopolis
Tea-Pot'--as nearly as I can recollect, this was the name of the new
paper.

The leading article, I must admit, was brilliant--not to say severe. It
was especially bitter about things in general--and as for the editor
of 'The Gazette,' he was torn all to pieces in particular. Some of
Bullethead's remarks were really so fiery that I have al