"cant" with a capital K--but I know better.]

When I joined the society it was my endeavor to introduce a better
style of thinking and writing, and all the world knows how well I have
succeeded. We get up as good papers now in the P. R. E. T. T. Y. B.
L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H. as any to be found even in Blackwood. I say,
Blackwood, because I have been assured that the finest writing,
upon every subject, is to be discovered in the pages of that justly
celebrated Magazine. We now take it for our model upon all themes, and
are getting into rapid notice accordingly. And, after all, it's not so
very difficult a matter to compose an article of the genuine Blackwood
stamp, if one only goes properly about it. Of course I don't speak of
the political articles. Everybody knows how they are managed, since Dr.
Moneypenny explained it. Mr. Blackwood has a pair of tailor's-shears,
and three apprentices who stand by him for orders. One hands him the
"Times," another the "Examiner" and a third a "Culley's New Compendium
of Slang-Whang." Mr. B. merely cuts out and intersperses. It is soon
done--nothing but "Examiner," "Slang-Whang," and "Times"--then "Times,"
"Slang-Whang," and "Examiner"--and then "Times," "Examiner," and
"Slang-Whang."

But the chief merit of the Magazine lies in its miscellaneous articles;
and the best of these come under the head of what Dr. Moneypenny calls
the bizarreries (whatever that may mean) and what everybody else calls
the intensities. This is a species of writing which I have long known
how to appreciate, although it is only since my late visit to Mr.
Blackwood (deputed by the society) that I have been made aware of the
exact method of composition. This method is very simple, but not so much
so as the politics. Upon my calling at Mr. B.'s, and making known to him
the wishes of the society, he received me with great civility, took me
into his study, and gave me a clear explanation of the whole process.

"My dear madam," said he, evidently struck with my majestic appearance,
for I had on the crimson satin, with the green agraffas, and
orange-colored auriclas. "My dear madam," said he, "sit down. The matter
stands thus: In the first place your writer of intensities must have
very black ink, and a very big pen, with a very blunt nib. And, mark
me, Miss Psyche Zenobia!" he continued, after a pause, with the
most expressive energy and solemnity of manner, "mark me!--that
pen--must--never be mended! Herein, mada