r Jourdain, Nicole, Lackeys)

MADAME JOURDAIN: Ah, ah! Here's a new story! What's this, what's
this, husband, this outfit you have on there? Don't you care what
people think of you when you are got up like that? And do you want
yourself laughed at everywhere?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: None but fools and dolts will laugh at me wife.

MADAME JOURDAIN: Truly, they haven't waited until now, your antics
have long given a laugh to everyone.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Who's everyone, if you please?

MADAME JOURDAIN: Everyone is everyone who is right and who is wiser
than you. For my part, I am scandalized at the life you lead. I no
longer recognize our house. One would say it's the beginning of
Carnival here, every day; and beginning early in the morning, so it
won't be forgotten, one hears nothing but the racket of fiddles and
singers which disturbs the whole neighborhood.

NICOLE: Madame speaks well. I'll never be able to get my housework
done properly with that gang you have come here. They have feet
that hunt for mud in every part of town to bring it here; and poor
Franoise almost has her teeth on the floor, scrubbing the boards
that your fine masters come to dirty up every day.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What, our servant Nicole, you have quite a
tongue for a peasant.

MADAME JOURDAIN: Nicole is right, and she has more sense than you.
I'd like to know what you think you're going to do with a Dancing
Master, at your age?

NICOLE: And with a hulking Fencing Master who comes stamping his
feet, shaking the whole house and tearing up all the floorboards in
our drawing-room.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Be quiet, both servant and wife!

MADAME JOURDAIN: Is it that you're learning to dance for the time
when you'll have no legs to dance on?

NICOLE: Do you want to kill someone?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Quiet, I tell you! You are ignorant women, both
of you, and you don't know the advantages of all this.

MADAME JOURDAIN: You should instead be thinking of marrying off
your daughter, who is of an age to be provided for.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll think of marrying off my daughter when a
suitable match comes along, but I also want to learn about fine
things.

NICOLE: I heard said, Madame, that today he took a Philosophy
Master to thicken the soup!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Very well. I have a wish to have wit and to
reason about things with decent people.

MADAME JOURDAIN: Don't you intend, one of these days, to go to
school and have yourself whippe