twenty-five per cent. above
that of all his neighbours--who must have right on his side bright as a
cloudless sun to get a verdict, if obliged to appeal to the laws--who
pays fifty per cent. more for everything he buys, and receives fifty per
cent. less for everything he sells, than any other person near him--who
is surrounded by rancorous enemies, in the midst of a seeming state of
peace--who has everything he says and does perverted, and added to, and
lied about--who is traduced because his dinner-hour is later than that
of "other folks"--who don't stoop, but is straight in the back--who
presumes to doubt that this country in general, and his own township in
particular, is the focus of civilization--who hesitates about signing
his name to any flagrant instance of ignorance, bad taste, or worse
morals, that his neighbours may get up in the shape of a petition,
remonstrance, or resolution--depend on it that man is a prodigious
aristocrat, and one who, for his many offences and manner of lording it
over mankind, deserves to be banished. I ask the reader's pardon for so
abruptly breaking in upon Joshua's speech, but such very different
notions exist about aristocrats, in different parts of the world, that
some such explanation was necessary in order to prevent mistakes. I have
forgotten one mark of the tribe that is, perhaps, more material than all
the rest, which must not be omitted, and is this:--If he happen to be a
man who prefers his own pursuits to public life, and is regardless of
"popularity," he is just guilty of the unpardonable sin. The "people"
will forgive anything sooner than this; though there are "folks" who
fancy it as infallible a sign of an aristocrat not to chew tobacco. But,
unless I return to Joshua, the reader will complain that I cause him to
stand still.

"No, no," continued Mr. Brigham; "anything but an aristocrat for me. I
hate the very name of the sarpents, and wish there warn't one in the
land. To-morrow we are to have a great anti-rent lecturer out----"

"A vhat?"

"A lecturer; one that lectur's, you understand, on anti-rentism,
temperance, aristocracy, government, or any other grievance that may
happen to be uppermost. Have you no lecturers in Jarmany?"

"Ja, ja; dere ist lecturers in das universities--blenty of dem."

"Well, we have 'em universal and partic'lar, as we happen to want 'em.
To-morrow we're to have one, they tell me, the smartest man that has
appeared in the cause. He goe