asleep on the stone
floor of my dark cell with a happy smile, realising that my plan was
crowned with complete success, passing from the realm of eccentricity to
the domain of stern and austere reality. And the fear which I felt while
falling asleep in the presence of my jailer, my fear of his resolute
look, of his revolver; my timid desire to hear a word of praise from
him, or to call forth perhaps a smile on his lips, re-echoed in my soul
as the harmonious clanking of my eternal and last chains.

Thus I pass my last years. As before, my health is sound and my free
spirit is clear. Let some call me a fool and laugh at me; in their
pitiful blindness let others regard me as a saint and expect me to
perform miracles; an upright man to some people, to others--a liar and
a deceiver--I myself know who I am, and I do not ask them to understand
me. And if there are people who will accuse me of deception, of
baseness, even of the lack of simple honour--for there are scoundrels
who are convinced to this day that I committed murder--no one will dare
accuse me of cowardice, no one will dare say that I could not perform my
painful duty to the end. From the beginning till the end I remained firm
and unbribable; and though a bugbear, a fanatic, a dark horror to some
people, I may awaken in others a heroic dream of the infinite power of
man.

I have long discontinued to receive visitors, and with the death of the
Warden of our prison, my only true friend, whom I visited occasionally,
my last tie with this world was broken. Only I and my ferocious jailer,
who watches every movement of mine with mad suspicion, and the
black grate which has caught in its iron embrace and muzzled the
infinite--this is my life. Silently accepting the low bows, in my cold
estrangement from the people I am passing my last road.

I am thinking of death ever more frequently, but even before death I do
not bend my fearless look. Whether it brings me eternal rest or a new
unknown and terrible struggle, I am humbly prepared to accept it.

Farewell, my dear reader! Like a vague phantom you appeared before my
eyes and passed, leaving me alone before the face of life and death. Do
not be angry because at times I deceived you and lied--you, too, would
have lied perhaps in my place. Nevertheless I loved you sincerely, and
sincerely longed for your love; and the thought of your sympathy for
me was quite a support to me in my moments and days of hardship. I am
send