s freedom was so essential to the soul God had given me,--that I
should have broken through the enclosures of any sect, and made for
myself a history like that which I am now writing. But speculations on
such subjects are all vain. A man can live but once, and in one way, and
all we can do now is to live well for the future,--as well as we can.
God help us.

God will help us. And we must not suppose that because we have not had
the lot which imagination pictures as most desirable, we have lived in
vain. Let us look on matters in a more cheerful light. The world, and
all our affairs, are in the hands of an all-perfect God, and always have
been, and I am inclined to believe, that with regard to myself, He has
done all things well. I meant to do right from the first. I never
wickedly departed from God. I erred unintentionally and unexpectedly. I
erred seeking for the truth. I erred praying to God to lead me right.
And I am inclined to believe that my course was not entirely of myself,
but was a discipline appointed me by a higher power, and meant to
further some desirable end. So I will go on hoping and rejoicing,
interpreting God's doings as favorably as I can, and believing, that
what I know not now, I shall know hereafter. And all the time I will
rejoice in God's love, and sing Glory, Hallelujah.

_Explanation Third. Christianity and Methodism not to Blame._

Do not let any one judge of Christianity or Methodism, nor even of the
whole body of the Methodist Church, from the cases of immorality which I
have found it necessary to name. Christianity and real Wesleyan
Methodism are as opposed to bad trades and bad deeds as light is to
darkness. And bad as things were in the churches to which I have
referred, a large portion, if not the great bulk of the members, were
sincere Christians, fearing God and working righteousness. Nor were all
the preachers bad-hearted or cruel men. It often happens that a few
control the many. And the ruling few are often worse than the many whom
they rule. The least worthy members of the church are often, like
Diotrephes, eager for the pre-eminence, while the best are modest and
retiring. It is not always the cream that comes to the top, either in
civil or religious society; it is sometimes the scum. And my readers
must take these things into account while reading my story. The early
Methodist churches were blessed organizations, bitterly as Wesley and
Fletcher lamented their shortcomings an