gs of Christ referred to
in the text. I dwelt at some length on the passage about praying in the
synagogues and in the corners of the streets. The congregation was very
large, and the sermon was unusually impressive. Some said they had never
heard me preach with so much power. As I drew towards a close, I
referred again to the words on public prayer, and gave what appeared to
me to be their meaning. I remarked, that I felt bound to comply with
what I believed to be the command of the Saviour, and that I must
therefore decline to conclude the service in the usual way, by a public
prayer, and request the disciples of Christ to retire to their homes and
secret places to pray.

The result was exceedingly painful. The confusion was dreadful. Some,
who had never thought on the subject before, and who had probably
listened to me that evening without comprehending properly my meaning,
were horrified. The officers of the church, who had accepted me as their
minister in the belief that I should never try them by anything new in
my views or proceedings, were grieved beyond measure. One of them said
to me at a meeting the following evening: "You have committed a crime,
compared with which the sin of him who betrayed his Lord for silver, was
honor and piety!" This, of course, was madness, if not blasphemy. But it
helps to show the fearful difficulties that lie in the way of the man
who feels himself called to be a religious reformer. And it tends to
show the tempest of excitement in which, for so long a period, it was my
lot to live.

The result of this last step in my reforming career was, that almost all
the richer and more influential members of the church deserted me, and
some even of the less influential followed their example. This however
did not change my determination to do what I believed to be the will of
God. Nor did it dispose me to hesitate longer before making changes when
they seemed to be called for by the teachings of Christ. On the
contrary, it led me to resolve, that I would hold myself more at liberty
to follow the revelations of truth and duty than ever. I blamed myself
for having accepted the situation of a regular minister, blamed myself
for having allowed myself to be influenced so much by a regard to the
judgments and feelings of others. I felt a kind of pleasure at length,
when I found the leading friends who had held me so much in check, were
gone. I attributed their departure to my fidelity to Christ, a