. that is what ails me. But now I
want to go to bed and sleep."

He tried to rise, but felt such a weakness in his legs and in all his
body that he was not in a condition to undress and get into bed himself
without the aid of his aunt and of the maid-servant. But he fell asleep
very quickly, preserving on his face that same blissfully-rapturous
expression. Only his face was extremely pale.

XVIII

When Platonida Ivanovna entered his room on the following morning he was
in the same condition ... but his weakness had not passed off, and he
even preferred to remain in bed. Platonida Ivanovna did not like the
pallor of his face in particular.

"What does it mean, O Lord!" she thought. "There isn't a drop of blood
in his face, he refuses his beef-tea; he lies there and laughs, and
keeps asserting that he is quite well!"

He refused breakfast also.--"Why dost thou do that, Yasha?" she asked
him; "dost thou intend to lie like this all day?"

"And what if I do?" replied Aratoff, affectionately.

This very affection also did not please Platonida Ivanovna. Aratoff
wore the aspect of a man who has learned a great secret, which is very
agreeable to him, and is jealously clinging to it and reserving it for
himself. He was waiting for night, not exactly with impatience but with
curiosity.

"What comes next?" he asked himself;--"what will happen?" He had ceased
to be surprised, to be perplexed; he cherished no doubt as to his having
entered into communication with Clara; that they loved each other ... he
did not doubt, either. Only ... what can come of such a love?--He
recalled that kiss ... and a wondrous chill coursed swiftly and sweetly
through all his limbs.--"Romeo and Juliet did not exchange such a kiss
as that!" he thought. "But the next time I shall hold out better.... I
shall possess her.... She will come with the garland of tiny roses in
her black curls....

"But after that what? For we cannot live together, can we? Consequently
I must die in order to be with her? Was not that what she came for,--and
is it not in _that_ way she wishes to take me?

"Well, and what of that? If I must die, I must. Death does not terrify
me in the least now. For it cannot annihilate me, can it? On the
contrary, only _thus_ and _there_ shall I be happy ... as I have never
been happy in my lifetime, as she has never been in hers.... For we are
both unsullied!--Oh, that kiss!"

* * * * *

Plato