nse! It makes them sober--
UNDERSHAFT. I prefer sober workmen. The profits are larger.
CUSINS. --honest--
UNDERSHAFT. Honest workmen are the most economical.
CUSINS. --attached to their homes--
UNDERSHAFT. So much the better: they will put up with anything
sooner than change their shop.
CUSINS. --happy--
UNDERSHAFT. An invaluable safeguard against revolution.
CUSINS. --unselfish--
UNDERSHAFT. Indifferent to their own interests, which suits me
exactly.
CUSINS. --with their thoughts on heavenly things--
UNDERSHAFT [rising] And not on Trade Unionism nor Socialism.
Excellent.
CUSINS [revolted] You really are an infernal old rascal.
UNDERSHAFT [indicating Peter Shirley, who has just came from the
shelter and strolled dejectedly down the yard between them] And
this is an honest man!
SHIRLEY. Yes; and what av I got by it? [he passes on bitterly and
sits on the form, in the corner of the penthouse].
Snobby Price, beaming sanctimoniously, and Jenny Hill, with a
tambourine full of coppers, come from the shelter and go to the
drum, on which Jenny begins to count the money.
UNDERSHAFT [replying to Shirley] Oh, your employers must have got
a good deal by it from first to last. [He sits on the table, with
one foot on the side form. Cusins, overwhelmed, sits down on the
same form nearer the shelter. Barbara comes from the shelter to
the middle of the yard. She is excited and a little overwrought].
BARBARA. We've just had a splendid experience meeting at the
other gate in Cripps's lane. I've hardly ever seen them so much
moved as they were by your confession, Mr Price.
PRICE. I could almost be glad of my past wickedness if I could
believe that it would elp to keep hathers stright.
BARBARA. So it will, Snobby. How much, Jenny?
JENNY. Four and tenpence, Major.
BARBARA. Oh Snobby, if you had given your poor mother just one
more kick, we should have got the whole five shillings!
PRICE. If she heard you say that, miss, she'd be sorry I didn't.
But I'm glad. Oh what a joy it will be to her when she hears I'm
saved!
UNDERSHAFT. Shall I contribute the odd twopence, Barbara? The
millionaire's mite, eh? [He takes a couple of pennies from his
pocket.]
BARBARA. How did you make that twopence?
UNDERSHAFT. As usual. By selling cannons, torpedoes, submarines,
and my new patent Grand Duke hand grenade.
BARBARA. Put it back in your pocket. You can't buy your Salvation
here for twopence: you
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