g abusive language. It seems a pity that
pedestrians cannot be knocked down without showing their temper like
this.

* * *

After months of experiment at Thames Ditton the question of an
artificial limb of light metal has been solved. It is said to be just
the thing for Tube-travellers to carry as a spare.

* * *

In connection with Mr. PRINGLE'S recent visit to Ireland we are asked
to say that he was not sent there as a reprisal.

* * *

Mr. GEORGE LANSBURY recently told a Poplar audience why he went to
Australia many years ago. No explanation was offered of his return.

* * *

A coal-porter summoned for income-tax at West Ham Police Court said
that his wages averaged eight hundred pounds a year. We think it only
fair to say that there must be labouring men here and there who earn
even less than that.

* * *

"The thief," says a weekly paper report, "entered the house by way of
the front-door." We can only suppose that the burglars' entrance was
locked at the time.

* * *

A small boy, born in a Turkish harem, is said to have forty-eight
step-mothers living. Our office-boy, however, is still undefeated in
the matter of recently defunct grandmothers.

* * *

The number of accidental deaths in France is attaining alarming
proportions. It is certainly time that a stop was put to the quaint
custom of duelling.

* * *

A rat that looks like a kangaroo and barks like a prairie dog is
reported in Texas, says _The Columbia Record_. We can only say that,
when we last heard that one, it was an elephant with white trunk and
pink eyes.

* * *

"Why do leaders of the Bar wear such ill-fitting clothes?" asks a
contemporary. A sly dig, we presume, at their brief bags.

* * *

A reduction in prices is what every housewife in the land is looking
for, says _The Daily Express_. It is not known how our contemporary
got hold of this idea.

* * *

There is no truth in the report that _The Daily Mail_ has offered a
prize of a hundred pounds to the first person who can prove that it
has been talking through its prize hat.

* * *

"What should _The Daily Mail_ hat be worn with?" asks an enthusiast.
"Characteristic modesty" is the right answer.

* * *

Emigrants to Canada, it is stated, now include an increasingly large
proportion of skilled workers. Fortunately, thanks to the high wages
they earn at home, we are not losing the services of our skilled
loafers.

* * *

A burglar who was recently sent