once his _osculum_.

So that is why I seldom wash,
However black I am,
But use my flannel if I must,
Though even that, to be quite just,
Was once a little lamb. A. P. H.

* * * * *

=HOW TO MISS THE MISSING LINK.=

We understand that an expedition will shortly leave the United States
for Central Asia in search of the Missing Link. "Aeroplanes, motor
cars, camels, mules and all means of locomotion found suitable will
be used by the anthropologists, archaeologists and other scientists"
taking part.

We predict that an enterprise so opposed to all the traditions of
exploration is doomed to failure. We cannot doubt that the Missing
Link possesses a sense of smell keen enough to detect a camel or a
Ford car while yet afar off. His regrettable elusiveness is more
likely to be established than overcome when he beholds mules and
anthropologists, attended by aeroplanes and motor-cars, and possibly
whippet-tanks, motor-scooters and phrenologists. Even if there are
only nine or ten of each variety it will be enough to ensure that the
adventurers miss the Link after all.

Another aspect of the expedition should be borne in mind. The progress
through the jungle of such vehicles and personnel would cause
something like consternation among the larger fauna, whose limited
intelligence might reasonably fail to distinguish the procession from
a travelling menagerie. In these days of unrest is it right, is
it expedient, thus to stir up species hatred? It would be indeed
deplorable if the present quest were to be followed by a search party
got up to trace the missing Missing Link expedition.

Surely the old methods of the explorer are still the best. Simply
equipped with an elephant-rifle and a pith helmet, let him plunge into
the bush and be lost to sight for a few years. Whereas the Missing
Link may be relied on to remain resolutely beneath his rock at the
sight of a sort of a Lord Mayor's Show wandering among the vegetation,
the spectacle of a simple-looking traveller in the midst of the lonely
forest would rather encourage the creature to emerge from its place of
retreat.

Then nothing would remain but for the explorer to advance with
out-stretched hand (preferably the left), and exclaim, "The Missing
Link, I presume?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: A CLOSE CORPORATION.

EX-SERVICE MAN (_unemployed_). "IF YOU'RE SO SHORT OF LABOUR, WHY
DON'T YOU