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d to General Pierce.] [Note II.--The fastidious--I mean those rather inclined to facts, may, to please their peculiar taste, transfer the scene of Mr. Secretary Bolt's exploits to Paris; they may also add a date more modern.] CHAPTER XXII. HOW SMOOTH GOT HIS MANNERS. "Readers, and fellow citizens of these United States in general! know ye, that I, Solomon Smooth, in the first person singular, as Uncle Sam Houston used to say, being worn out with the fatigues of the Ostend-Aix-la-Chapelle Congress, crossed the Atlantic in two steamships--wanted to do both a good turn--got busted up by neither--and at last found myself calmly luxuriating in the velvet and damask of the 'White House.' By way of keeping up the spirit of Young America, I knocked down all the attendants, stalked in like an independent citizen who felt he was part owner of the establishment, spread myself upon the softest sofa, and demanded the flunkey, who stood trembling in the doorway, to bring me a Turkey ottoman, on which to advantageously take the measure of my extremes. Believe me, Sam, I went it in the way of comforts. The flunkey shook his head, and kept up a significant silence. This was rather too much for the patience of any respectable gentleman; and being aware that the Gineral had not larned him proper manners, I got up and brought it myself. Nor yet did it seem just the thing--something was wanting to complete the free-and-easy, to which end I pulled out a real Havana regalia, and puffed away so comfortably. Then I ordered the flunkey, whose hair was seen stiffening on his head with fright, to bring me a spittoon--felt sorry I neglected to import one from some of our European Legations!--or I'd hurl the liquid every which way--perhaps storm his high-colored Persian rugs! I was about to lay off in the very bliss of comfort, when Pierce, followed by his black pig, came laraping into the room, looking as amiable and undecided as ever. 'Smooth,' he exclaimed, greeting me with a heartiness of hand little expected, 'I am so glad to see you home once more!' Here he suddenly paused, gave out ominous looks, lowered his voice to a whisper, and continued: 'In the name of forgiveness, where did you contract such manners?' A little cold sweat bespread his brow just then. 'Upon the faith of my high position,' he continued, 'I thought my sending you to Europe would have proved a polishing machine, and prepared you for shining in society.'
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