would be
agreeable.

"I would advise you not to try the ship's provisions," said the bird;
"we have only salt meat on board. Beware the scurvy!"

"You are quite right," replied the passenger; "I'll see if I can stay
my stomach with the foremast."

So saying he bit off her neck, and she immediately capsizing, he was
drowned.

MORAL--highly so, but not instructive.

XCVII.

A monkey finding a heap of cocoa-nuts, gnawed into one, then dropped
it, gagging hideously.

"Now, this is what _I_ call perfectly disgusting!" said he: "I can
never leave anything lying about but some one comes along and puts a
quantity of nasty milk into it!"

A cat just then happening to pass that way began rolling the
cocoa-nuts about with her paw.

"Yeow!" she exclaimed; "it is enough to vex the soul of a cast-iron
dog! Whenever I set out any milk to cool, somebody comes and seals it
up tight as a drum!"

Then perceiving one another, and each thinking the other the offender,
these enraged animals contended, and wrought a mutual extermination.
Whereby two worthy consumers were lost to society, and a quantity of
excellent food had to be given to the poor.

XCVIII.

A mouse who had overturned an earthern jar was discovered by a cat,
who entered from an adjoining room and began to upbraid him in the
harshest and most threatening manner.

"You little wretch!" said she, "how dare you knock over that valuable
urn? If it had been filled with hot water, and I had been lying before
it asleep, I should have been scalded to death."

"If it had been full of water," pleaded the mouse, "it would not have
upset."

[Illustration]

"But I might have lain down in it, monster!" persisted the cat.

"No, you couldn't," was the answer; "it is not wide enough."

"Fiend!" shrieked the cat, smashing him with her paw; "I can curl up
real small when I try."

The _ultima ratio_ of very angry people is frequently addressed to the
ear of the dead.

XCIX.

In crossing a frozen pool, a monkey slipped and fell, striking upon
the back of his head with considerable force, so that the ice was very
much shattered. A peacock, who was strutting about on shore thinking
what a pretty peacock he was, laughed immoderately at the mishap.
N.B.--All laughter is immoderate when a fellow is hurt--if the fellow
is oneself.

"Bah!" exclaimed the sufferer; "if you could see the beautiful
prismatic tints I have knocked into this ice, you woul