_Punch_, August 17, 1871, headed "Too Poor,--_Night of
Waverley Concert_."

_Southron_.--You here, Mac! you ought to have been at the concert, you
know. Aren't you one of the 'Scots wha hae?'

_Mac_.--Indeed no. I'm are o' the Scots wha hae na, or I wadna be here
the nicht.

He would not have stayed at home if he had been one of the "Scots wha
hae."

I am assured that the genuineness of the following anecdote is
unquestionable, as my informant received it from the person to whom it
occurred. A popular Anglican Nonconformist minister was residing with a
family in Glasgow while on a visit to that city, whither he had gone on
a deputation from the Wesleyan Missionary Society. After dinner, in
reply to an invitation to partake of some fine fruit, he mentioned to
the family a curious circumstance concerning himself--viz. that he had
never in his life tasted an apple, pear, grape, or indeed any kind of
green fruit. This fact seemed to evoke considerable surprise from the
company, but a cautious Scotsman, of a practical, matter-of-fact turn of
mind, who had listened with much unconcern, drily remarked, "It's a
peety but ye had been in Paradise, and there micht na hae been ony faa."
I have spoken elsewhere of the cool matter-of-fact manner in which the
awful questions connected with the funerals of friends are often
approached by Scottish people, without the least intention or purpose of
being irreverent or unfeeling. By the kindness of Mr. Lyon, I am enabled
to give an authentic anecdote of a curious character, illustrative of
this habit of mind, and I cannot do better than give it in his own
words:--"An old tenant of my late father, George Lyon of Wester Ogil,
many years ago, when on his deathbed, and his end near at hand, his wife
thus addressed him: 'Willie, Willie, as lang as ye can speak, tell us
are ye for your burial-baps round or _square_?' Willie having responded
to this inquiry, was next asked if the _murners_ were to have _glooes_
(gloves) or mittens, the former being articles with fingers, the latter
having only a thumb-piece; and Willie, having also answered this
question, was allowed to depart in peace."

There could not be a better example of this familiar handling, without
meaning offence, than one which has just been sent to me by a kind
correspondent. I give her own words. "Happening to call on a poor
neighbour, I asked after the children of a person who lived close by."
She replied, "They're no hame ye