for this most
singler reason. He says as I'm the ony Englishman as he has ewer known
who can allus giv a answer rite off to ewery question as he arsks
me! So much so, that he says as how as I ort to be apinted the Guide,
Feelosofer, and Frend of ewery one of the many Wisiters as we allus
has a staying here!

Well, all I can say is, that if I affords the heminent Amerrycane
jest about harf the fun and emusement as he does me, I must be a much
cleverer feller than I ewer thort myself, or than my better harf
ewer told me as I was. Ah, wouldn't he jest make her stare a bit if
she herd sum of his most owdacious sayings. Why, he acshally says,
that the hole system of marrying for life is all a mistake, and not
consistent with our changable nature! And that we ort to take our
Wives on lease, as we does our houses, wiz., for sewen or fourteen
years, and that in a great majority of cases they woud both be preshus
glad when the end of the lease came! And he tries werry hard to make
me bleeve, tho in course he doesn't succeed, that in one part of
his grate and staggering Country, ewerybody does jest as he likes
in these rayther himportant matters, and has jest as many Wives as
he can afford to keep, and that the King of that place has about a
dozen of 'em! Ah, if you wants to hear a Teel downright staggerer as
nobody carnt posserbly bleeve, don't "ask the Pleaceman," but arsk an
Amerrycane!

He wanted werry much to go to Brighton, and see our new Grand
Metropole Otel opened last Satterday; so I spoke to our most
gentlemanly Manager, and he gave him a ticket that took him down
first-class, and brort him back, and took him into the Otel, and
supplied him with heverythink as art coud wish for, or supply, and
as much Shampane as he could posserbly drink--and, when there ain't
nothink to pay for it, it's reelly estonishing what a quantity a
gennelman can dispose of--; and the way in which he afterwards told
me as he showed his grattitude for what he called a reel first-class
heavening's enjoyment was, to engage a delicious little sweet of
apartments for a fortnite, so we shall see him no more for that length
of time. He told me as he had seen all the great Otels of Urope
and Amerrykey, but he was obligated to confess, in his own emphatic
langwidge, that the Brighton Metropole "licked all creation!" I didn't
quite understand him, but I've no doubt it was intended as rayther
complimentary. He rayther staggered me by asking what it co