that's the
opinion of your humble servant and admirer,

A TAX-PAYING LANDLUBBER.

* * * * *

ON GUARDS!

THE BAD FORM OF THE PAST.

[Illustration]

There he stood in his evening dress, with a half-smoked cigarette
between his lips. He had been knocking about Piccadilly all day,
had dined at the Junior, looked in at the Opera, and finished at the
Steak. He seemed a civilian of civilians. The most casual observer
would have declared that he could never have seen the inside of a
barrack-yard. So no surprise was expressed when the question was asked
him.

"What am I?" he repeated, languidly, and then he replied, with a yawn,
"Can't you see, old Chappie? Why, an Officer in the Guards!"

THE GOOD FORM OF THE FUTURE.

There he stood in his neat, serviceable undress uniform, with a cigar
between his lips. He had abandoned the swagger frogged coat and silk
sash for the unpretending patrol jacket of his brethren in the Line.
He had been hard at work all day in barracks, inspecting meals,
visiting the hospital, attending parades. He had paid his company
personally, had seen every man, and found that there were no
complaints. He had attended a mess meeting, and had dined at mess,
playing a rubber afterwards (sixpenny points) in the ante-room.
He knew as much about the internal economy of the Battalion as the
Colonel, the Adjutant, or the Sergeant-Major. He seemed a soldier of
soldiers. The most casual observer would have declared that he was
acquainted with every inch of the barrack-yard. So general surprise
was expressed when the question was asked him.

"What am I?" he repeated, briskly; and then he replied, with a smile,
"Can't you see, stupid? Why, an Officer in the Guards!"

* * * * *

VOCES POPULI.

AT A GARDEN-PARTY.

SCENE--_A London Lawn. A Band in a costume half-way between
the uniforms of a stage hussar and a circus groom, is
performing under a tree. Guests discovered slowly pacing the
turf, or standing and sitting about in groups._

_Mrs. Maynard Gery_ (_to her Brother-in-law--who is thoroughly aware
of her little weaknesses_). Oh, PHIL,--you know everybody--_do_ tell
me! Who is that common-looking, little man with the scrubby beard, and
the very yellow gloves--how does he come to be _here_?

_Phil_. Where? Oh, I see him. Well--have you read _Sabrina's Uncle's
Other Niece?_

_Mrs. M.G._ No--_ought_ I to have? I never