T
tells me his illustrious father's life has been a burden to him. Every
post brings him letters from rival advertising soap manufacturers,
making overtures of business transactions.

"Sir," runs one of these epistles, "alluding to your statement in the
House of Commons last night that you publicly washed your hands of
participation in the Anglo-German Treaty, would you have any objection
to our stating that the substance used was our celebrated Salubrious
Savon? Anticipating your favourable reply, we assume that you would
have no objection to our publishing a portrait of you using our soap,
with its familiar label, 'Does not wash collars.' We have only to add
that in the event of your favourably accepting this suggestion, we
shall esteem it a favour to be allowed to gratuitously supply you and
your family with specimens of our art for the term of your natural
lives."

[Illustration: The British Constitution.]

This is merely an incident in the struggle, illustrating one of the
embarrassments it has evolved. Only man thoroughly happy is HARCOURT.
He invented the line of attack on ground of breach of constitutional
usages; put up Mr. G. to make his speech; supplied him with
authorities, and in supplementary speech amazed House with his
erudition. Made stupendous speech last night; literally gorged the
House; to-night picks up fragments and provides another feast: six
baskets wouldn't hold it.

"Wish, TOBY, dear boy," he said, sinking back in his seat after
delivering his second speech, cunningly grafted on an Amendment, "we
could carry this over next week. I could easily make a speech a day.
Remember when I was once in Ireland, asked a tenant how he liked the
new agent, who was reputed to be very able business man. 'Well,'
said my acquaintance, 'I don't know about his business daylings, but
for blasphaymious language, he's _au revoir_.' On constitutional
questions, TOBY, I may, with all modesty, say I'm _au revoir_."

_Business done._--Anglo-German Treaty agreed to.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

FRIENDLY COMMENTS ON CHARACTER AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

"_She is never at a loss for a clever answer;_" i.e., "A cat whose
claws are always out."

"_A little stand-offish to strangers, but wonderfully winning when one
really knows him;_" i.e., "Which one need never do, thank goodness!"

LEGAL.

"_As your Lordship pleases;_" i.e., "As a Judge, you are a stupid,
self-su