ords to
his brainpan.

The coroner also found, upon further examination, that all of these
words had formerly belonged to Elsie, with the exception of a few which
were once the property of Gustave's favorite bartender.

After Gustave's exit Aunt Martha tried to get Elsie back on her job, but
the old Dutch had her eye on Herman Schulz, and finally married him.

So now every once in a while Elsie moseys over from Plainfield, N. J.,
where she lives with Herman, and proceeds to sew a lot of pillow slips
and things for Aunt Martha.

Yesterday morning, while Peaches and I were at breakfast, Elsie
meandered in, bearing in her hand a wedding invitation which Herman had
forwarded to her from Plainfield.

Being, as I say, a privileged character, she does pretty much as she
likes around the bungalooza.

Elsie read the invitation: "Mr. und Mrs. Rudolph Ganderkurds request der
honor of your presence at der marriage of deir daughter, Verbena, to
Galahad Schmalzenberger, at der home of der bride's parents, Plainfield,
N. J. March Sixteenth. R. S. V. P."

"Vell," said Elsie, "I know der Ganderkurds and I know deir daughter,
Verbena, und I know Galahad Schmalzenberger; he's a floorwalker in
Bauerhaupt's grocery store, but I doan'd know vot it is dot R. S. V. P.
yet!"

I gently kicked Peaches on the instep under the table, and said to
Elsie, "Well, that _is_ a new one on me. Are you sure it isn't B. & O.
or the C. R. R. of N. J.? I've heard of those two railroads in New
Jersey, but I never heard of the R. S. V. P."

For the first time in her life since she's been able to grab a sentence
between her teeth and shake the pronouns out of it Elsie was phazed.

She kept looking at the invitation and saying to herself, "R. S. V. P.!
Vot is it? I know der honor of your presence; I know der bride's
parents, but I don't know R. S. V. P."

All that day Elsie wandered through the house muttering to herself, "R.
S. V. P.! Vot is it? Is it some secret between der bride und groom? R.
S. V. P.! It ain'd my initials, because dey begin mit E, S. Vot is dot
R. S. V. P.? Vot is it? Vot is it?"

That evening we were all at dinner when Elsie rushed in with a cry of
joy. "I got it!" she said. "I haf untied der meaning of dot R. S. V. P.
It means Real Silver Vedding Presents!"

I was just about to drink a glass of water, so I changed my mind and
nearly choked to death.

Peaches tried to say something, which resulted in a gurgle in her
throat,