t down," he said, putting his head into his hands and
gazing moodily at the marmalade.

Margery read it and giggled three or four times; but Margery giggles at
anything.

Cecilia read it and beamed.

"Alan, dear," she said, "it's lovely! Of _course_ they accepted it. John,
you wretch, say you liked it." (Cecilia can be a dear.)

"Well, if I must tell the truth," said John, "it isn't quite so bad as I
expected. In fact I very much doubt whether he wrote it at all. If he
did--well, it's a marvellous fluke, that's all."

I smiled.

"You may smile, swelled-head," said John; "but I'll bet you five golden
guineas to a bad tanner you couldn't do it again."

"Done," I said.

After a few days, however, I realised that I had made a mistake. Even a bad
sixpence is worth something nowadays.

Cecilia and Margery vied with each other in offering me the feeblest
suggestions for articles that they felt sure would reduce a rhinoceros to
hysterics. John presented me with a copy of _A Thousand and One Jokes and
Anecdotes_ "to prove he was a sportsman," he said. I started to look for a
bad sixpence.

Then Margery said to me:--

"Why don't you write and explain the whole thing to the Editor and offer to
go halves if he prints it?"

I looked at her in amazement.

"You horrible little cheat!" I said.

* * * * *

However, on thinking it over carefully there seems a lot to say for the
idea and it's really quite fair. Anyhow I can't possibly let John win. So
here's the story, and with any luck it will cost John five golden guineas.
But I shan't give the Editor half.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Little Girl (rather sceptical about what she regards as her
new toy)._ "PUT HIM ON THE FLOOR, MUMMY, AND SEE IF HE'LL GO."]

* * * * *

THE PERILS OF HUMOUR.

From _Punch_:--

"'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM.

The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do well."'--
_Rangoon Times._"

From _The Manchester Evening Chronicle_:--

"'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM.

The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do dwell."'

_Rangoon Times_, quoted in _Punch_."

* * * * *

"It was reported to the Sanitary Committee yesterday that the Inspector
of Nuisances had made arrangements for the repair of the meteorological
instruments."--_Local Paper._

Judging