p reign once more in Ballybun; but any visitor
who desires to see the beauties of Spagnoletti's famous masterpiece (what
McAroon calls his "Anna Dryomeny") without the washing to serve as a veil
must come by night and bring his own matches.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A MINISTERIAL ATTITUDE.

_Wife_ (_to amateur politician_). "NAH THEN--WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? IN
THE 'OUSE O' COMMONS?"]

* * * * *

SO LONG.

All coiled down, and it's time for us to go,
Every sail's furled in a smart harbour stow,
Another ship for us an' for her another crew;
An' so long, sailorman. Good luck to you!

Fun an' friends I wish you till the pay's all gone,
Pleasure while you spend it an' content when it's done,
An' a chest that's not empty when you go back to sea,
An' a better ship than she's been an' a truer pal than me.

A good berth I wish you in a ship that's well-found,
With a decent crowd forrard an' her gear all sound,
Spars a man can trust to when it comes on to blow,
An' no bo'sun bawlin' when it's your watch below.

A good Trade I wish you an' a fair landfall,
Neither fog nor iceberg, nor long calm nor squall,
A pleasant port to come to when the work's all through...
An' so long, sailorman. Good luck to you!

C.F.S.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW POOR.

"GOOD MORNING, MADAM. I DEAL IN CAST-OFF CLOTHING."

"OH, HOW LUCKY! DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT WOULD SUIT MY
HUSBAND?"]

* * * * *

THE SMUGGLER.

(_With the British Army in France._)

"If I am to be a bold bad smuggler, old scream," said Percival, packing
pyjamas and parcels into his bag, "I demand the proper costume and
accessories of the craft. No self-respecting smuggler can be expected to
run a cargo in a British warm and field-boots."

"Of course, my swaggering buccaneer, if you want to do it in the grand
manner," answered Frederick, "I'll arrange for the saucy little cutter, the
sequestered cove an' the hard-riding exciseman with a cocked hat and
cutlass. But the simpler if less picturesque way is to dump your bag on the
counter at the Customs House and be taken with a fit of sneezing when the
Grand Inquisitor asks you if you have anything to declare."

"Whereupon he'll hand me a quinine tablet and, when I show signs of
convalescence, repeat the question in a loud voice. And