instructions, why didn't you tell him to make a noise like a
hornet? It might have saved me from bein' stung."

Texas, eh? Well, say, next time I sees a map of that State I'm goin'
to hunt up Palopinto and draw a ring around it with purple ink.

IV

THE TORTONIS' STAR ACT

What I was after was a souse in the Sound; but say, I never know just
what's goin' to happen to me when I gets to roamin' around Westchester
County!

I'd started out from Primrose Park to hoof it over to a little beach a
ways down shore, when along comes Dominick with his blue dump cart.
Now, Dominick's a friend of mine, and for a foreigner he's the most
entertainin' cuss I ever met. I like talkin' with him. He can make
the English language sound more like a lullaby than most of your high
priced opera singers; and as for bein' cheerful, why, he's got a pair
of eyes like sunny days.

Course, he wears rings in his ears, and likely a seven inch knife down
the back of his neck. He ain't perfumed with violets either, when you
get right close to; but the ash collectin' business don't call for
_peau d'Espagne_, does it?

"Hallo!" says Dominick. "You lika ride?"

Well, I can't say I'm stuck on bein' bounced around in an ash chariot;
but I knew Dominick meant well, so in I gets. We'd been joltin' along
for about four blocks, swappin' pigeon toed conversation, when there
shows up on the road behind us the fanciest rig I've seen outside of a
circus. In front, hitched up tandem, was a couple of black and white
patchwork ponies that looked like they'd broke out of a sportin' print.
Say, with their shiny hoofs and yeller harness, it almost made your
eyes ache to look at 'em. But the buggy was part of the picture, too.
It was the dizziest ever--just a couple of upholstered settees,
balanced back to back on a pair of rubber tired wheels, with the whole
shootin' match, cushions and all, a blazin' turkey red.

On the nigh side was a coachman, with his bandy legs cased in white
pants and yeller topped boots; and on the other--well, say! you talk
about your polka dot symphonies! Them spots was as big as quarters,
and those in the parasol matched the ones in her dress.

I'd been gawpin' at the outfit a couple of minutes before I could see
anything but the dots, and then all of a sudden I tumbles that it's
Sadie. She finds me about the same time, and jabs her sun shade into
the small of the driver's back, to make him pull up. I tells Dominick