to haul in, too, but his old skate is on his hind legs, with his ears
pointed front, wakin' up for the first time in five years, so I has to
drop out over the tail board.

"Well, what do you think of the rig?" says Sadie.

"I guess me and Dominick's old crow bait has about the same thoughts
along that line," says I. "Can you blame us?"

"It is rather giddy, isn't it?" says she.

"'Most gave me the blind staggers," says I. "You ought to distribute
smoked glasses along the route of procession. Did you buy it some dark
night, or was it made to order after somethin' you saw in a dream?"

"The idea!" says Sadie. "This jaunting car is one I had sent over from
Paris, to help my ponies get a blue ribbon at the Hill'n'dale horse
show. And that's what it did, too."

"Blue ribbon!" says I. "The judges must have been colour blind."

"Oh, I don't know," says Sadie, stickin' her tongue out at me. "After
that I've a good notion to make you walk."

"I don't know as I'd have nerve enough to ride in that, anyway," says
I. "Is it a funeral you're goin' to?"

"Next thing to it," says she. "But come on, Shorty; get aboard and
I'll tell you all about it."

So I steps up alongside the spotted silk, and the driver lets the
ponies loose. Say, it was like ridin' sideways in a roller coaster.

Sadie said she was awful glad to see me just then. She had a job on
hand that she hated to do, and she needed some one to stand in her
corner and cheer her up while she tackled it. Seems she'd got rash a
few days before and made a promise to lug the Duke and Duchess of
Kildee over to call on the Wigghorns. Sadie'd been actin' as sort of
advance agent for Their Dukelets durin' their splurge over here, and
Mrs. Wigghorn had mesmerised her into makin' a date for a call. This
was the day.

It would have gone through all right if some one hadn't put the Duke
wise to what he was up against. Maybe you know about the Wigghorns?
Course, they've got the goods, for about a dozen years ago old Wigghorn
choked a car patent out of some poor inventor, and his bank account's
been pyramidin' so fast ever since that now he's in the eight figure
class; but when it comes to bein' in the monkey dinner crowd, they
ain't even counted as near-silks.

"Why," says Sadie, "I've heard that they have their champagne standing
in rows on the sideboard, and that they serve charlotte russe for
breakfast!"

"That's an awful thing to repeat," says I.

"Oh,