nd Homer and Pindar,
And if they only read Mrs. Wharton and Mrs. Humphrey Ward
Then where were they?

So continued lying brought its own reward in the sense of superiority
and I lied more.

When I reflect that I have openly expressed regret, as a personal
matter, even in the presence of women, for the missing books of Tacitus,
and the entire loss of the Abacadabra of Polyphemus of Syracuse, I can
find no words in which to beg for pardon. In reality I was just as much
worried over the loss of the ichthyosaurus. More, indeed: I'd like to
have seen it: but if the books Tacitus lost were like those he didn't, I
wouldn't.

I believe all scholars lie like this. An ancient friend of mine, a
clergyman, tells me that in Hesiod he finds a peculiar grace that he
doesn't find elsewhere. He's a liar. That's all. Another man, in
politics and in the legislature, tells me that every night before going
to bed he reads over a page or two of Thucydides to keep his mind fresh.
Either he never goes to bed or he's a liar. Doubly so: no one could read
Greek at that frantic rate: and anyway his mind isn't fresh. How could
it be, he's in the legislature. I don't object to this man talking
freely of the classics, but he ought to keep it for the voters. My own
opinion is that before he goes to bed he takes whiskey: why call it
Thucydides?

I know there are solid arguments advanced in favour of the classics. I
often hear them from my colleagues. My friend the professor of Greek
tells me that he truly believes the classics have made him what he is.
This is a very grave statement, if well founded. Indeed I have heard the
same argument from a great many Latin and Greek scholars. They all
claim, with some heat, that Latin and Greek have practically made them
what they are. This damaging charge against the classics should not be
too readily accepted. In my opinion some of these men would have been
what they are, no matter what they were.

Be this as it may, I for my part bitterly regret the lies I have told
about my appreciation of Latin and Greek literature. I am anxious to do
what I can to set things right. I am therefore engaged on, indeed have
nearly completed, a work which will enable all readers to judge the
matter for themselves. What I have done is a translation of all the
great classics, not in the usual literal way but on a design that
brings them into harmony with modern life. I will explain what I mean in
a minute.

The transla