am locomotive engine number forty-two.
Observe her mighty wheels, her easy roll,
With William J. Macarthy in control.
They say her engineer some time ago
Lived on a farm outside of Buffalo
Whereas his fireman, Henry Edward Foy,
Attended School in Springfield, Illinois.
Thus does the race of man decay or rot--
Some men can hold their jobs and some can not.

Please observe that if Homer had actually written that last line it
would have been quoted for a thousand years as one of the deepest
sayings ever said. Orators would have rounded out their speeches with
the majestic phrase, quoted in sonorous and unintelligible Greek verse,
"some men can hold their jobs and some can not": essayists would have
begun their most scholarly dissertations with the words,--"It has been
finely said by Homer that (in Greek) 'some men can hold their jobs'":
and the clergy in mid-pathos of a funeral sermon would have raised their
eyes aloft and echoed "Some men can not"!

This is what I should like to do. I'd like to take a large stone and
write on it in very plain writing,--

"The classics are only primitive literature. They belong in the same
class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive
medicine,"--and then throw it through the windows of a University and
hide behind a fence to see the professors buzz!!

[Illustration]

* * * * *

Transcriber's Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors corrected.

Page 136, "cusine" changed to "cuisine" (the royal cuisine)

Page 185, "follwing" changed to "following" (following
discussion is)

***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEHIND THE BEYOND***

******* This file should be named 23449.txt or 23449.zip *******

This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/3/4/4/23449

Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.

Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm co