ng into your story." I rapidly turned over the pages. "I see,"
I said, "that your story as written is laid largely in Spain in the
summer. I shall ask you to alter this to Switzerland and make it winter
time to allow for the breaking of steam-pipes. Such things as these,
however, are mere details; we can easily arrange them."

I reached out my hand.

"And now," I said, "I must wish you a good afternoon."

The contributor seemed to pluck up courage.

"What about remuneration"--he faltered.

I waived the question gravely aside. "You will, of course, be duly paid
at our usual rate. You receive a cheque two years after publication. It
will cover all your necessary expenses, including ink, paper, string,
sealing-wax and other incidentals, in addition to which we hope to be
able to make you a compensation for your time on a reasonable basis per
hour. Good-bye."

He left, and I could hear them throwing him downstairs.

Then I sat down, while my mind was on it, and wrote the advance notice
of the story. It ran like this:

NEXT MONTH'S NUMBER OF THE MEGALOMANIA
MAGAZINE WILL CONTAIN A
THRILLING STORY, ENTITLED

"_DOROTHEA DASHAWAY, OR, THE QUICKSANDS OF SOCIETY._"

The author has lately leaped into immediate recognition as the greatest
master of the short story in the American World. His style has a brio, a
poise, a savoir faire, a je ne sais quoi, which stamps all his work with
the cachet of literary superiority. The sum paid for the story of
_Dorothea Dashaway_ is said to be the largest ever paid for a single MS.
Every page palpitates with interest, and at the conclusion of this
remarkable narrative the reader lays down the page in utter
bewilderment, to turn perhaps to the almost equally marvellous
illustration of Messrs. Spiggott and Fawcett's Home Plumbing Device
Exposition which adorns the same number of the great review.

I wrote this out, rang the bell, and was just beginning to say to the
secretary--

"My dear child,--pray pardon my forgetfulness. You must be famished for
lunch. Will you permit me----"

And then I woke up--at the wrong minute, as one always does.

_HOMER AND HUMBUG_

_AN ACADEMIC DISCUSSION_

_Homer and Humbug, an Academic Discussion_

THE following discussion is of course only of interest to scholars. But,
as the public schools returns show that in the United States there are
now over a million coloured scholars alone, the appea